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Newest Member: Kitty44 (60743)

User Topic: ex's - here we go again
million pieces
♀ 27539
Member # 27539
Sad  Posted: 8:00 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've posted in the past about how my SO's ex moved in a little when his father passed away last Dec. As predicted, as the "excitement" ended, so did the drama and I've really only seen/heard from her a few times since then. SO and I have talked about what happened (she is just pretty selfish to the core but they do have a good parenting relationship) and I was honestly more perplexed at the whole drama than worried.

Well, his mother fell a couple of weeks ago and she has never woken up. She started crashing a couple of days ago. They are withdrawing support tomorrow. SO's ex was out of town when it happened, was silent for a while, and then she has started texting me letting me know when she is visiting. Once again, no one really wants her there, SO's mom certainly wouldn't have wanted her there and she isn't bringing their son. Just weird out of the blue, texting me to make sure I knew she was visiting too. SO and I actually predicted this last week and I said as long as he acts the same way as before, all is good. It is just amazing how so self absorbed some people are that they don't realize the impact they have on others. I haven't told him about the texts, he has too much going on right now.

Anyway, the past couple of weeks have sucked. I knew the severity, I work in an ICU, I knew the signs. Caught between wanting the family to understand and then not wanting to be the one to tell them. Now tomorrow. In some ways this is sooo much worse than their father dieing in home hospice from cancer. She was eating dinner with us one minute and then being rushed to the hospital in less than an hour. She was such a vital woman, I was looking forward to her being in my life and learning from her. My dd cried when i told her last night. This just sucks. I am pretty good about holding it together at work, but when I see families say their goodbyes, I loose it. I just can't imagine tomorrow, I am going to be a mess

Me - 45
2 kids, 12 and 14
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending prayers and strength your way. And peace to your SO's family.

Hugs, too.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending prayers

Posts: 54405 | Registered: Jun 2007
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hugs)))) Sending you and your SO strength, million.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40180 | Registered: Aug 2011
♂ 14833
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ignore the ex and do your best girl...

You're doing great so far...


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor

Posts: 6054 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 9784 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 28376
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((million pieces))))

I am sending you strength and courage during this time.

My father died when I was 11, leaving my mother with 5 children under the age of 16.

People get thru these times, they surely do. This is what live life is all about.

Sending many hugs and the words to comfort your SO.

Me: 45/WH (SA): 49
M: 26 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce halted

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
million pieces
♀ 27539
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, April 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, SO's mom quickly and quietly passed last Friday night. Everyone is on auto pilot. I was able to help over the weekend as kids were w their father but then I got a call about one of my dogs. I have two elderly 15 yr old dogs, one that was NOT doing so well in last couple of weeks/days. But I made the decision to leave her to be with SO and his family. She was left in care of friend son that loves her and knows her well. Well, long story short I had to put her down Sunday night at the ER Vet.

I am just so fried right now. I've made some stupid mistakes at work, I just can't focus. I sitting here supposed to be putting together a presentation. I've spent the last two nights w/o kids just hanging w remaining dog (her time is near too) just in a little cocoon. No radio or music. Just quiet. Just gearing myself up for typical crazy thursdays were my kids have 3 after school obligations and I don't start dinner until 7:30pm. Weekend w kids is crazy too, bday parties, a play, soccer game, LAX, etc. And then viewing on Sunday and funeral on Monday.

I am strong, I will get through, but if I loose my other dog soon I will just loose it. I've had my dogs before marriage, when kids were little and I was a lonely, isolated SAHM. And then after separation. They kept me moving those first months when I could have just stayed in bed when the kids were with their father. They used to be my running buddies then turned into hiking buddies. We walked to Ritas just last week and I knew it was the last time.

This was years ago, but these are the dogs I remember. The smaller one on the right was Wren, she passed on Sunday. Gypsy is on the left. Oh, and those are my human kids

Me - 45
2 kids, 12 and 14
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, April 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((million pieces))))

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 14444 | Registered: Jul 2011
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, April 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So much, all at once. I'm so sorry.

(((((million pieces)))))

Beautiful picture, beautiful babies (human and fur).

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 16015 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, April 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending prayers of peace to you.

((((million pieces))))


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09

Posts: 21377 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Topic Posts: 11

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