Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild
"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more". Erica Jong in How to Save Your Own Life (1977)
I have this quote in a journal entry. When I read it I see the truth in it over and over again. I realized that when I cheated I gave up everything. I didn't risk it I tossed it to the side although I know it meant everything to me I tried to toss it away because I thought I wasn't worth it. When I begged for forgiveness and started making changes. When I faced the fact that I would go through hell to make this good again when I realized that no matter what he said or how angry he got if he still wanted me is when I realized I was worth having the love of someone and I would show I was worth it. When he betrayed me and I still wanted to be with him, still wanted to love him is when the full impact of the above quote hit me.
If this is the live I hope it is I am willing to fight for it and risk it all because the reward at the end has to be worth it. But also I would rather fight and put myself out there then ever not feel capable of love or being loved. I may have done a lot of stupid things and may continue to make bad choices but I will never close myself off to love, I'd rather feel the pain then close myself off.
Just needed to share....I might have rambled lol.
ETA: By bad choices I don't mean cheating ever again I just mean stupid choices we will all face in life. Cant guarantee all of them will be smart ones...
[This message edited by Unagie at 2:50 PM, April 12th (Friday)]
No longer together
"There are times when our reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind." Patrick Rothfuss