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permanentpain posted 4/12/2013 16:47 PM

About men that think its cool to message you on facebook when they are married? Really? I just received a message from an Xboyfriend saying hi, blah blah blah... Then, out of the blue, he requests my phone number because he doesn't feel safe chatting on that venue. Mind you the conversation was completely innocent, how have u been, where do u live now, beautiful kids... Nothing and I mean nothing that would suggest any other type of relationship. My answer was a resounding NO and I don't give out my phone number to married men or X's... Douchebag. He actually begged me to give him my number saying he was curious and would love to talk to me...
I'm amazed.. At the same time he put a message on his timeline about how he lived for his wife

Sunnie posted 4/12/2013 17:15 PM

I hear you! I was at an cocktail reception for work yesterday and there were lots of people there from my industry, so I do the networking/get myself introduced thing I usually do. I'm introduced to this guy and we find out we worked near each other 10 years ago and know people in common. Fine. Then we move onto more personal topics and he keeps complaining about his 2 kids and telling me about his wife. Then he asked if I was married so I told him not anymore. Then we talked about work some more and exchanged business cards and parted ways.

So today I get an email from him (at work of all places) saying how much he enjoyed meeting me and he wants to get to know me better. It wasn't overtly suggestive of a "date request" but it definitely had that undertone (at the very least the email was way too personal/casual for a work contact). What is the matter with these people?

SBB posted 4/12/2013 17:42 PM

PP, exactly the right thing to do.

FB is just one of the ways married people (not just men) fish for APs online.

They ALWAYS start with people from their past. In their mind there is no intent - just talking. Apparently you have to actually have sex with someone to cheat and even then its not really cheating because their wife didn't really love them.... you get the gist.

A month or two after S I had some young girl PM me on FB to tell me 'your creepy husband' was messaging her randomly "I like the look of you and thought we could be friends" type crap. I blocked him that day so future ones couldn't find me.

He also friended a whole bunch of past OWs in those weeks. It was like an OW hall of shame.

The hilarious part is that he was with current GF/OWUmpteen when he was doing this.

Sorry for the t/j.

Ignore him - better yet tell him you'll tell his wife if he contacts you again. I'd probably tell her anyway. What a douchebag.

permanentpain posted 4/12/2013 17:48 PM

Its disgusting. The funny things is that we broke up because he cheated
Why in the halibut (love will smith in that movie) would I want to talk to someone like that? I would tell his wife, but she posts all the time on facebook about how he's hers and she would fight anyone.... She just seems like drama. I'll just block him and be done with it. She can find out what a douche he is without help from me.

permanentpain posted 4/12/2013 17:52 PM

Sunnie - I've noticed that mentioning I'm single equals to mentioning I'm desperate in their eyes. NOT. Thanks but no thanks. When I am good and ready I will pick someone that has morals, decency, kindness and character. I don't need someone that complains about his wife, kids, and life. Pathetic

SBB posted 4/12/2013 17:58 PM

I've dumped a glass of red wine over a married man's head.


The first was during the first S - I was out and about having a great time and this guy chats me up. He was gorgeous - no mention of wife/kids. A while into the evening he puts his hand on my leg. I see the wedding ring. "You're married????", "Yes, is that a problem?". Wine dump # 1.

Wine dump # 2 was pretty much exactly the same except he said "Oh, yes - forgot to mention that".

What a waste of wine. I'd love to hear how they explained that to the wife.

Note to self - if husband comes back with red wine over his head dump his sorry arse.

permanentpain posted 4/12/2013 18:01 PM

Note to self - if husband comes back with red wine over his head dump his sorry arse.

Hear, hear! I will spread that piece of knowledge to my oh so wonderful friends. Good for you strong!

Sunnie posted 4/13/2013 16:40 PM

Note to self - if husband comes back with red wine over his head dump his sorry arse.

LOL! That made me laugh! I wish I had the courage to do that!

Permanentpain: I don't know why guys always assume a woman "needs" and "wants" a man around. Yesterday I was out with a girl-friend of mine. During the evening, one of her male coworkers spotted us and came over. We started talking and he was flirting with me (for the record, I was NOT interested or reciprocating). He was totally taken aback when I told him not only do I not need a man at the moment but I don't event WANT a man around. Then he said I need a man so that my life is less boring. Great pick up line...not!

tesla posted 4/13/2013 17:14 PM

huh, I never get chatted up or flirted with. Still must be putting out too many, "Fuck you." vibes.

Glad you shut x-bf douch down, PP. What a pain in the ass.

And SBB --

I've dumped a glass of red wine over a married man's head.

You are awesome.

rcantbleveit posted 4/13/2013 17:28 PM

It amazes me how many women do friend men knowing they are married & talk to them on the phone.

They say "we're just friends" and it's no big deal. So I suggest that they friend the wife just to make sure things stay kosher but most of them don't.

I know of two women that did friend the wife & both wives friended back saying they trust their husbands & it was ok.

They are in la la land.

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