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livebythesea (original poster member #38900) posted at 11:06 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Tell me, is a one night stand forgivable? Is it considered a true cheat? I'm a little confused? Does one leave a relationship cause of a one night stand? I know, different situations, different opinions. But generally speaking, is a one night stand forgivable? I truly need help.
Me - 65 I often have to remind myself of my age! Husband - 65 DD1 April 5 2013 (a lie)DD2 April 23 2013DD3 June 22 20133 children 5 grandchildren
SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 11:31 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Yes, it's cheating. Forgivable? Totally depends on you and how your reconciliation goes. Transparency, remorse...it all depends.
There is a thread in the I can Relate Forum about One Night Stands where other's share their experiences.
Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 12:39 AM on Saturday, April 13th, 2013
A one night stand is no different than a long term affair. There are lies, there is the actual infidelity, there is broken promises and loss of trust, there is the loss of faithfulness in a relationship. A ONS is just as much cause for leaving as any other infidelity, and just as forgivable as any other infidelity.
My H had 3 ONS's with 3 different women, and a 4th woman he had 4 "ONS's" with over an 18 month period (like, no dating, no relationship, just a booty call every few months). In my eyes, I'm disgusted that my H could treat another human being like that, use them up and throw them away like trash. That's NOT the man I married. But I was able to forgive him for that. And I know others here have forgiven their spouses for the same type of thing, and many have forgiven their spouses for different things.
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
dameia ( member #36072) posted at 4:07 AM on Saturday, April 13th, 2013
A ONS is absolutely cheating. Whether or not you can forgive it is up to you. Give yourself some time, you do not have to decide right away.
Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12
Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 7:18 AM on Monday, April 15th, 2013
The thing about a ONS is that if the cheater does not address the issue of WHY he did it, you are likely to suffer through further infidelities. It IS forgivible - if the WS is remorseful and willing to change.
Betrayed67 ( member #38134) posted at 7:44 AM on Monday, April 15th, 2013
my WH had a ONS... and I am 3 months out from DDay. Still have not forgiven him. He is remorseful but I can't forgive - just yet.
Whether ONS, LTA, EA - they are all the same. They cause you unimaginable pain.
Maybe one day I can forgive...
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
Lolati11 ( member #34915) posted at 5:52 PM on Monday, April 15th, 2013
The answer is YES !! a one night stand is the same like a 100 night stands .It hurts the same and it takes as much time to heal from it as well .My WH had a one night stand and it wasn't an easy ride to R but am over it now .
Me:36Him: 53OW: a monster that I called friend before D-Day:June 20,2011
D-Day #2 February 2023
Me: 42 Him: 59 OW : 49 6kids and 3 baby dads
You made a fool out of me and she made a fool out of you
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