SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

livebythesea posted 4/12/2013 17:06 PM

Tell me, is a one night stand forgivable? Is it considered a true cheat? I'm a little confused? Does one leave a relationship cause of a one night stand? I know, different situations, different opinions. But generally speaking, is a one night stand forgivable? I truly need help.

SoVerySadNow posted 4/12/2013 17:31 PM

Yes, it's cheating. Forgivable? Totally depends on you and how your reconciliation goes. Transparency, remorse...it all depends.
There is a thread in the I can Relate Forum about One Night Stands where other's share their experiences.

doesitgetbetter posted 4/12/2013 18:39 PM

A one night stand is no different than a long term affair. There are lies, there is the actual infidelity, there is broken promises and loss of trust, there is the loss of faithfulness in a relationship. A ONS is just as much cause for leaving as any other infidelity, and just as forgivable as any other infidelity.

My H had 3 ONS's with 3 different women, and a 4th woman he had 4 "ONS's" with over an 18 month period (like, no dating, no relationship, just a booty call every few months). In my eyes, I'm disgusted that my H could treat another human being like that, use them up and throw them away like trash. That's NOT the man I married. But I was able to forgive him for that. And I know others here have forgiven their spouses for the same type of thing, and many have forgiven their spouses for different things.

dameia posted 4/12/2013 22:07 PM

A ONS is absolutely cheating. Whether or not you can forgive it is up to you. Give yourself some time, you do not have to decide right away.

JanaGreen posted 4/15/2013 01:18 AM

The thing about a ONS is that if the cheater does not address the issue of WHY he did it, you are likely to suffer through further infidelities. It IS forgivible - if the WS is remorseful and willing to change.

Betrayed67 posted 4/15/2013 01:44 AM

my WH had a ONS... and I am 3 months out from DDay. Still have not forgiven him. He is remorseful but I can't forgive - just yet.

Whether ONS, LTA, EA - they are all the same. They cause you unimaginable pain.

Maybe one day I can forgive...

Lolati11 posted 4/15/2013 11:52 AM

The answer is YES !! a one night stand is the same like a 100 night stands .It hurts the same and it takes as much time to heal from it as well .My WH had a one night stand and it wasn't an easy ride to R but am over it now .