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Upon not looking a gift horse in the mouth

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SoHappyNow posted 4/12/2013 20:06 PM

I am happy. I am content. I am the authoress of my own wellbeing, and have decided to welcome another healthy being into my inner circle.

The timing does suck....for both of us. But. I. Don't. Care.

All of my gut instincts have been aimed at this man. All of my spidey senses. All my nosy probing questions. I have known him for 18 months and can't find a bad side, nor can several other people whose judgement I trust.....most of all the judgement of my late husband who told my guy "You're not a friend - you're family."

I have done gone and fell smack in love and so has he and we made a grand exit off that damn bus!!

Survivor3512 posted 4/12/2013 20:09 PM

Congratulations! I'm really happy for you!

gma56 posted 4/12/2013 22:19 PM

Hope you never have to be back on the bus !
Sometimes the timing does look like it is all wrong but down the line it was the perfect time for a new love.
Congrats for finding love and getting off the bus.
Doing happy dance for you.

[This message edited by gma56 at 10:42 PM, April 12th (Friday)]

Bluebird26 posted 4/13/2013 04:10 AM

Yay, so pleased for you. Enjoy your time off the bus and hopefully you don't have to buy a return ticket.

woundedwidow posted 4/13/2013 10:37 AM

So, in contrast to your posting at 10:56 AM on March 28th, "I refuse to become an OW, and he respects my boundaries", you have crossed that line? Just a question.

little turtle posted 4/13/2013 12:11 PM

I'm happy for you!! You're going at your own pace and finding happiness for yourself. Keep moving forward.

SoHappyNow posted 4/14/2013 11:57 AM

woundedwidow, I can't figure you out. For some reason, I just seem to aggravate you with my posts and I wish it wasn't that way.

My definition of an OW is different than yours. I have seen his divorce papers, he has filed them and it should be final in about a month.

Technically, I guess I am an OW. But I don't believe myself to be so.
His mother in law likes me, I like her. She plans to stay friendly with him. I know and am very friendly with one of his adult daughters (she threw a party at my home and invited her grandma - hence my meeting his MIL). Other adult daughter I have not met yet, but she works for a hotel chain and helped him with a little discount on the out of town room we used after the late ending out of town show we attended. Hotel daughter knew he was staying there with his new girlfriend.

I am an unusual OW, if I am one.

Our relationship has been steadily growing for 18 months and a very solid base of friendship for all but the past month.

[This message edited by hit-by-a-train at 1:33 PM, April 14th (Sunday)]

woundedwidow posted 4/14/2013 12:41 PM

hit-by-a-train, your posts don't aggravate me in the least, unless you attribute beliefs to me that I do NOT have, i.e. "homewrecking OW". My responses are simply in regards to several posts that you have made about how slowly you were going in this relationship; how you were not going to have sex with your friend until he had a divorce decree in hand (which you stated twice); and how your friend, who only expressed having "feelings" for you one month ago, was respecting your boundary of no divorce decree = no sex. YOU made the statement "I refuse to become an OW". I just find it interesting that you began this post with the statement "The timing does suck...for both of us. But. I. Don't. Care." And you won't have to ignore my questions in the future, as I'll refrain from posting on your threads.

SoHappyNow posted 4/14/2013 13:28 PM

woundedwidow, you have an excellent memory and have paid close attention to every thing that I have written here on SI.

Put simply: I have changed my mind about some of the things I stated earlier. Thank you for pointing it out.

p.s. I did not write that YOU or anyone else thought me to be a homewrecking OW. Please don't think that everything I write is aimed in your direction.

[This message edited by hit-by-a-train at 1:31 PM, April 14th (Sunday)]

woundedwidow posted 4/14/2013 15:14 PM

I was not going to respond to any of your posts, but when you when back and edited your post to remove the term "homewrecker OW", that just fried it. I don't think it was necessarily aimed at me, but you used the phase "you go ahead and believe what you want to" so it pretty much is applicable. I take full responsibility for my own posts, and I NEVER change them after posting. As for your changing your mind about things you posted earlier, that is your privilege and your perogative, and I sincerely wish you both all happiness and positive developments with your new relationship.

woundedwidow posted 4/14/2013 15:40 PM

BTW, that doesn't mean I believed you are/were a "homewrecking OW" or an OW AT ALL, just that YOU had used the phrase to imply that I believed it. Just to clarify.

SoHappyNow posted 4/14/2013 16:06 PM

Nothing is clear to me coming from you,woundedwidow. I am reminded of some very unhappy times and discussions with people who were not good for my emotional wellbeing when we exchange posts. Let's not anymore.

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