Why would he do this? Was I that awful of a wife? Did I not love him enough?
NO. NO. and NO. An Affair isn't about the Betrayed Spouse. It isn't about the marriage. It is a choice the Wayward Spouse makes based on his/her own baggage, entitlement, whatever...
I know my XWH cheated during both pregnancies - why? My guess is he was terrified of dealing with the reality of being responsible and a committed father/family man... but then again - seems he just thrived on the forbidden attention.
Do not buy into his A being a reflection of some lack in you. Not from him - not from yourself. Keep reading - the Healing Library has a lot of great articles and the FAQ's really shed a lot of light on things.
You've found a safe place to help you deal with this crap, welcome!
Learning to breathe again - one day at a time
You are not to blame!! You are not at fault!! You did nothing wrong!! You could have done nothing to stop him!! You are the victim of a horrible crime. Your H and the OW have done this to you, do not believe a word that W says, she is a lair and a cheat. she made herself available!
Hang in there
[This message edited by Hurt for 33 at 12:31 PM, April 13th (Saturday)]
There is a way through, but it requires a helpful, patient, and remorseful WS and it doesn't sound like you have one (at least not yet):
"he doesn't remember", lasted approx 3 weeks but "he doesn't remember"
^^ this is bs - he can't tell you if it was 2 or 3 years ago...
Until he turns a corner and recognizes that he can lose you over this and starts working his ass off to keep his family -- Your top priority right now - has to be you and the babes. Please see BS FAQ #11 - the 180. Read everything you can on it! You'll find more on the various pages in JFO.
Unfortunately, there are other pregnant BS here - you are not alone! A post on Pregnant on Dday and you'll found some extra support, in the trenches with you!
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 12:50 PM, April 13th (Saturday)]