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One Year

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FR2012 posted 4/15/2013 11:49 AM

I was noticing the date and thoughts started going through my head. Thoughts of how messed up I was, thoughts of how I treated my family, thoughts of how I was acting, just random thoughts of everything of how I was last year.

One year ago, I was a mess. I made plans with my AP to go and give him a blowjob.

One year ago I was texting my AP profusely to get his attention.

One year ago I was in toxic relationships with people.

One year ago I was treating my husband like shit. I wasn't paying attention to him and was just being a horrible bitch to him.

Those are just a few things that happened one year ago.

Now that a whole year has passed, I have gotten a whole lot better. I have done a lot of work to improve myself. I have done a lot of soul searching and figured out a lot about myself. I am now in a whole lot better place in life, not only with myself but with my family.

In the past year, I have gotten the help that I need in order to get better and continue not only my healing but my husbands as well.

I can't even begin to imagine the stuff that was going through my mind at the time of my A. I was so fucked up in the head that I wasn't thinking straight and was thinking such stupid thoughts. I was even to the point of thinking suicidal.

Now I feel that our relationship is a whole lot better and healthier. We communicate better than we ever have before, we do things together, sex is amazing and I just feel that we are in much of a better place in life.

We are getting so close into welcoming our new baby soon too. Things are looking up with us and it is just going to keep going that way.

We are closer than we have ever been before and I am so grateful to have my husband in my life. I would be in such a horrible place in life if I didn't have him to support me. He has been my encouragement through all of this. Even though I hurt him, he has been there for me whenever I need him.

So yeah, there isn't really a point to this. Just some thoughts that I was having.

Thanks for reading.

Aubrie posted 4/15/2013 14:44 PM

You two have been busting some serious butt to get to where you are. Thanks for letting us have a glimpse into your healing.

FR2012 posted 4/15/2013 19:27 PM

Thank you Aubrie.

We have done so much work to get where we are. And we only keep getting better.

It feels good to know the progress we have made over the past year.

tired girl posted 4/16/2013 00:46 AM

The one year mark can be both good and hard at the same time.

You have done a lot of hard work. You both have as aubrie stated.

I know that the baby coming will keep your mind busy with many details. Try not to forget to keep yourself present and centered. Talk to your H about what is going on with you and let him help you.

You have done a great job. Keep up the good work.

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