SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

OK, my title is worded a bit strongly, but the sentiment is there.

My team went through a personality assessment exercise so that we can learn more about ourselves and better ways to communicate with each other. Under this method, there are four personality types. I don't have a clear preference, and two of my strongest ones are completely opposite each other.

I had to stay after class and get a few extra articles. Apparently sometimes this can happen during times of great change, but some people are just like that. Very few people are just like that. I suspect that's me, as even before any of this infidelity mess, when I took online personality tests (so, not the most trustworthy sources of info,) I was about equal on a couple of the dimensions.

Tomorrow I will learn more, but it's been fascinating so far. The report they wrote about me is so spot-on, it's almost scary. My favorite line is "phmh expects the best from life, and gives the best to living."

I am supposed to go back in 9-12 months for more testing; to see if my results are due to a period of great change, or if that's my actual personality. The facilitator of the group said he was fascinated by me. I'm taking that as a compliment, though I'm not entirely sure that was his intent :)

Has anyone else gone through something at work, and did you find it accurate? My entire team originally thought this was going to be a huge waste of time, but we're all so happy we did it!

Was it Briggs-Myers? I took it years ago. I wonder if I would still test out the same?

Yep = done this a few times over my 30 years with the same company.

I always come back as a Type A - hard working and demanding.

Even though I think of myself as easy going, I guess I am not.

Know how you feel.

Having gone through everything the last couple years, I have softened up a lot.

NIK -- it's not. It's called Insights. I had never heard of it before, but my work is pretty high on it. It's based on work by Jung.

I have never had Myers-Briggs done professionally, but I'm rather curious. I used to always test INTJ when I was married, but I think I'm an extravert, and was trying to force myself to be an introvert to keep the peace with XWH.

Bebba -- ultimately, I was coded yellow. Interestingly enough, I am finding self-awareness of things that happened in my marriage. For example, it says, "phmh's occasional failure to face up to disagreeable facts can mean that problems are sometimes ignored rather than solutions sought." YES.

I did Insights when I was working with a life coach. And got the same sort of "ooh, you're unusual" comment from my coach.

I think that's because my findings were typically where you found male leaders and um, I'm not male, nor very leader like.

But it did give me some really good food for thought about my perceived dislike of competition. I had though I wasn't competitive but instead I learned that I'm highly competitive, so much so that I just flat out won't bother if the odds aren't in my favor. There was a lot of learning for me stemming from that finding.

In fact, I found it much more useful than Myers Briggs (from which I get a different type every time I take it, except for the Introvert, I"m always 100% introvert lol).

We recently did a Managing Change exercise. The largest group were the 'hubs' - the teamwork people. I was the only one in my group-Judicious Competing:

Provides rational leadership that can assess risks and opportunities.

Decisive and proactive when all the facts are in.

Challenges opposition through thoughtful process and strategy.

The Myers-Briggs testing is very interesting we did it at work about 3 years ago to see how we work together and what characteristics people have and how we can work together as a team better.

I would love to do it again in a few years time once I come out of my cocoon a bit more.

I know someone else who has been through what we have been through as well and she is a few years ahead of me on her journey and when she did the testing she believed her profile had change remarkably to what it would have been during her marriage and her xwh pre/post affairs.

Is "Get off my lawn" a personality type?

Personally, I would be seriously concerned about my workplace if they placed too much credence on this psycho-babble.

I refused to take the Myers-Briggs when a new manager "required" it of her staff.

I refused to let some multiple choice questionnaire allow me to be pigeon-holed by a manager who was too lazy to learn to know me on her own.

But that's just my opinion...

[This message edited by TrustedHer at 7:55 AM, April 16th (Tuesday)]

Is "Get off my lawn" a personality type?

It's more of a philosophy, TR.

Where I worked, they made everyone take the MMPI, which is now supposed to be obsolete. But, luckily, they started using it after I worked there a while and everyone already there was "grandfathered". Good thing!! I would have "failed" that! I know someone who was the nicest, well adjusted, well liked, sanest person I ever knew who "failed" it. He had to go to a psychiatrist and be "cleared" before he could start work.

I was told you never say "yes" to the last so-many questions or you would fail for sure. And they were all things almost everyone does.

Ha! I was totally joking about failing the test. I think my jokes don't always come through on the screen. Personality flaw They were very clear there was no failing and that everyone has aspects of all 4 of the personality types. Everyone (well, almost everyone) also tends to feel most comfortable in one of the quadrants.

This was a group exercise thing and we all had so much fun. Tons of laughing while learning. We have an extremely functional team with no major personality conflicts. Shockingly, perhaps, but they are very cautious on adding new people.

Anyway, I am looking forward to reading some of the books they recommended to us. A lot of what was written in my profile is stuff I worked on in IC. (For example, being too optimistic that I disregard red flags, expecting far more of myself than I do of other people, etc.)

I think this will be an important tool in my new beginning.

Yeah, that's why I put "failed" in quotes. The MMPI isn't the same kind of test and mine was a different kind of workplace.

Sounds like the books would be good reinforcement for lots of us if related to what you said. Want to share the titles?

ETA: glad you had fun with this. It didn't sound like you were too worried by it all.

[This message edited by thebighurt at 10:11 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)]

A number of years ago all of the support staff in my division did this personality testing. It was really interesting! We learned that all of us, except for one person, testing into very similar areas. If not the same, then compatible for working together.

That one person that was different was the big boss's assistant. She tested wholly incompatible with all of us. What has happened is that she has single-handedly destroyed the moral of the division and turned the whole office into a viper pit. Customer service has been reduced to nothing. Her imperial attitude, inability to relate to people, and striking insecurity has changed everything. She's also incompetent. I'm no longer directly involved in that office. But I'm close enough to see what has happened.

She should have been fired years ago. But for some reason the big boss doesn't care. The personality testing what not a surprise to me, or any of us. But why bother doing it if there is no follow through to make things better? It was truly a waste of all of our time.

Sounds like the books would be good reinforcement for lots of us if related to what you said. Want to share the titles?

This is what was recommended:

"Quiet" by Susan Cain. Apparently she also has a really good TED talk. About introversion.

"Was That Really Me?" by Naomi Quenk. About stress.

"Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life" by Hollis.

Falling Upward by Rohr. This one has a spiritual bent.

"Women Navigating Midlife" or "Men Navigating Midlife" by Willis.

Obviously, I haven't read any of them and haven't even yet had time to read the amazon reviews, but some of them sounded helpful and appropriate to people who are likely to be reading this forum!

on a lighter note, follow the gamer personality test in fun and games. maybe u can tell them as i can tell them that i am a neutral good ranger level 7. might make them notice, eh?

Any personality test I have ever done has not been clear-cut in it's results one way or the other. I am always pretty much evenly divided between two or even three types.

I take that to mean I'm an extraordinarily well-balanced person!