Well we are nearing the Affair season of DD1. I guess this would be the actual affair season, as i didn't find out about her until May, so this one sided EA was going on now. Then in August hits DD2 anitversery.
Just like last time, I am a master rug sweeper. I ignore all. They say it is bad, but no one really tells you why. They say you won't deal with your issues, that you can't go on it is bad for your mental health, it is killing me physically too.
After a few months after DD2, I just stopped talking about it. I learned no one really wants to hear it in my real life. That was not my role in theirs to have actual issues. I have lost several friends in the course of the year.
Well sense then. I have gained four dress sizes, my skin has gone to shit, I can not get to sleep for the life of me, My hair is thinner, I swear I am getting a bald spot and I honestly half of the time, can't find the energy to do anything.
I have missed MONTHS of work, and my job is in jeopardy, My bosses can only let so much slide you know. I have become bitter and mean, but I still try so hard to be a people pleaser. That is one of the many issues as a BS I need to work on. But I don't want to be sad, bitter AND a bitch.
I need to deal with this, he has been good, he is hardly on the computer anymore, but I just can't do what he needs ME to do. I guess I kind of feel safe? Maybe? It's all a big jumble in my brain. Maybe I should call the phone councilor again.
I guess the moral is don't rugsweep because no matter how long you do, or how big the rug is, you will have to deal with this shit sooner or later, and hopefully with all your hair.