I used to hate it when people would say maybe an A is a deal breaker for you. I always thought it would be, until it happened.
Don't get me wrong. D did enter my mind and I thought about it long and hard.
Bottom line was TWO things: I wanted my M to work and H also wanted the same thing and was willing to work to make it happen.
I had my very best friend ask me a question during the aftermath. If YOU were the one giving the advice what would YOU be telling me? That question changed my thinking and helped me out a lot.
If you both want R and do the necessary work, success is likely - but that means both of you need to do the work, and IMO you need to get help if the going gets tough.
Do you want to R? Is your H doing his work - changing his behavior, in IC, being honest & transparent & remorseful, given you support, etc.? Are you processing your pain and letting I go?
An LD move is usually very stressful. How much of your doubt is due to that?
If you answer those questions for yourself, I think you'll get a better fix on whether or not it's over.
[This message edited by sisoon at 11:07 AM, April 16th (Tuesday)]
If you can take that one day at a time for a while you might get a new perspective that could surprise you. I don't advocate staying miserable forever, but is there a time rush on this?