Don't be too hard on yourself. You're reality has suddenly been turned upside down. It's normal. I have just recently..yes at nearly 3 years out from dday1..gone through the online history of one of our credit cards. I found what I thought was evidence. Turned out,it wasn't. It was porn,but porn I knew about,and at the time,was ok with.
But I confronted him first...I went off...yelling..sobbing...so sure he had started cheating on me in 2008..not 2010.
This time he was calm(usually he gets angry or defensive),and calmly told me what the charges were. After I calmed down,I realized he was right. I apologized...and he told me it was ok..that had he not destroyed my trust,we wouldn't be where we are now.
Shit happens. Apologize...but don't allow this mistake to set the tone for R. your WH still cheated..that must be dealt with. Once in awhile you might come across something that looks suspicious...and you have every right to ask him about it. And he needs to accept this as a consequence of his actions.
M: June 2001
Status: Reconciled. Love my "new" husband!
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.