What he means by this is I received a refund from my home owner's insurance because I pre-paid a year in advance on the old home in October, and moved out in Dec, so I got 10 months pro-rated refund. I also got a refund from the escrow account on the old house.
Now, he had been out of the house over a year, and in the temp orders I filed in Oct 2011, it was stated that since he refused to contribute to the mortgage or anything else for that matter, all household bills were now my responsibility. Including home owners and escrow fees.
And the appliances - well, he is referring to a 15 year old washer and dryer and a 9 year old fridge. Note here, that he made no request to have any of those items when he made his list of what he wanted from the marital estate. But now he thinks he is entitled to compensation for half.
So, my SI friends, what should I do? Is $800 worth this? In principle, 1000% yes. But money wise? Going to court will cost me probably $1000 in attorney fees. And in the end I might lose.
God damn him to hell. As soon as I got his texts I went right into sheer panic, full body shaking, barely able to type this. He fucking hurt me and my body continues to suffer the trauma. I try and try to beat it down but one word from him and I am a fucking mess. I've moved houses and towns and I still can't get away from the effects of him.
Please tell me what to do. I am in MA if that makes any difference.
OMG now is is texting me tellig me I am in contempt because I told the girls I would take them out to dinner once during the vacation week when he has them. He is fucking crazy.
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
fuck that fucking fuckface mother fucker.
He immediately texts and emails me and says "If you are serious about taking me to court then you need to provide me with copies of both refunds you received, along with the make and model of the appliances."
I would still pursue it and request he pay your attorney's fees.
He replied with this because he knew it would upset you, make you doubt yourself and what you were doing and hopefully, cause you to back down. He knows how to push your buttons and will continue to push you and try to intimidate you. Don't let him.
[This message edited by lieshurt at 8:30 AM, April 17th (Wednesday)]
If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
He does not have a leg to stand on. You have a court order specifying that you are paying all costs (mortgage, insurance, etc) for the house and that all items in the house are your possession. As far as the appliances, they are 15 and 9 years old. They might fetch $50 each. But that does not matter because they are yours anyway.
Do not let his little temper tantrum upset you. Whenever you get a text from him, your internal response should be "whatever you idiot". Your external response should be crickets.
I hate feeling like this.
I always wonder, "Where the hell is the punishment for breaking the rules??"
Hugs to you. Just follow your lawyer's advice and ignore him. I wish we could say something to knock some common sense in them, but I'm really starting to believe the lectures have to come from someone else, anyone else, than us..
Don't respond to him at all.
AJ's MOM
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer ____________________________________________ Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09 One AMAZING DS - 34
He is trying to intimidate and bully you. Don't let him.
I know exactly the feeling you describe when receiving texts/emails from XH. Stay strong girl!
Crickets of course.
Now about you and this adrenalin rush you just got through no action on your own. First address the immediate symptoms. Breathe. Do something to reset your body. Hot shower maybe. Cold wash your face. Brisk walk around the block. Jumping jacks. Add another type of physical stimulation on top of the symptoms of adrenalin. It helps tone the whole thing down once your heart rate returns to normal.
Then, soothing self care. Hand cream. Floral tea. More breathing. And recognize you will feel drained and jangly for a few hours.
Then, steps to reduce the future impact of his reaching out to yank your chain. Turn off sound notifications. Turn off other notifications like in the menu bar. Turn your phone face down and leave it that way. If you see that he has sent messages let them stack up and read them once, at a time of your choosing. Practice saying "Whatever, gnat." And breathe.
PTSD is no joke and his text is a bomb going off. gice yourself time to recover from the shock.
(((Hugs)))
((((((nutmeg))))))
Being sent *dickheadtexts* sucks. It does.
Work through your trauma response. Say "He is a J!A!MF!" out loud a couple of times. Then literally shake your feet, arms, shoulder, and head. Then breathe.....and tell yourself that you'll just hand this over to your L and let him/her deal with it.
Call your L tomorrow or later this afternoon to give him/her a heads-up about what you are dealing with. Let your L call his L to tell his L to get his client under control.
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. Your X is a nasty, nasty individual.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
If it's not in the divorce decree or ordered by a court.....you don't have to do shit.
This ^^^^
If his text tantrum is not backed by either of things, or a factual thing about the kids, give him crickets.
And save the texts in case you need to get your lawyer and the courts involved in helping him understand how to STFU.
((hugs))
[This message edited by phillygirl at 12:46 PM, April 17th (Wednesday)]
I am going to check in with my attorney. The ex said his is on vacation.
That being said, give your attorney copies of the text messages, let him handle it and also request attorney fees.
Cat
So, get this. I was doing my banking and I noticed the CS was not deposited last Friday. I texted him about it, and he said "no CS during school vacation weeks."
Are you fucking kidding me??? It's iron clad spelled out in the agreement!!!! I called my attorney's office and by some miracle she was there and answered the phone. I told her about his texts earlier and also about the withheld CS. She said now there's no messing around, that he is in big trouble. She will file an amended document documenting this witholding, and the times he has been late before.
He is crazy. CRAZY.
That sounds like it came from OW.
