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Need to think before I act

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Taurus517 posted 4/17/2013 09:53 AM

Once again I did something again I didn't think about. Something I thought was innocent was truly not. I responded to a female photographer at 2 am thru email about a photos hoot for myself. Not thinking it could have waited till the day I responded. My BS has been patient with me for past few months and I'm taking it for granted. I didn't think about it , this is was how it started when it lead to my A. So it definitely sit well with her because I didn't talk to her about it, I didn't let her know the next morning I emailed the photographer back, the words I used to describe my personality is the wrong words, and again it was not me thinking it thru before doing my actions. We talked about it and I know I'm at the wrong , I didn't think again !! I don't want to go back to who I was back then. Yes it's still me that did what I did during A and what lead to it, I just want to make changes to myself to be a better person and H. I really hate myself for the actions I did and once again I screwed up again for not thinking. So for everyone please think before you do your actions, one thought can go in many directions and if you sit and think about it and think of the results, that can make a big difference on what you end up doing.
I do love my W, I have been changing myself by reading and learning and I know there is still a long ways to go for me to fix what I have caused and the hurt I have put her thru. Please feedback is needed good or 2x4's, be like Pooh Bear and think think think think think. Like what my BS says "you have a brain, use it"

Strawda posted 4/17/2013 10:38 AM

I completely understand doing without looking at the actions of others and the outcome cosses a lot problems. Other day I got into BS car to get my cell, Doing so without asking was crossing into her space hear safe area without asking. An yesterday I confronted her about seeing someone that wasn't to be at my moms house. But she didn't see the person as my mom sed she did. So again I asoomd and didn't ask if she saw the guy who shouldn't bin at my moms. An made her think I was talking to someone els cuss how I worded it. An freaked her out. BS calld me ask who I was talking to and almost left me. So Make sure your actions are good ones and you think first...

Taurus517 posted 4/20/2013 22:24 PM

@Strawda thank you and yes there is alot of learning that has to happen with that.

toasted22 posted 4/21/2013 01:12 AM

Still new to this forum thing but I can relate to just the power of old habits. I have been told that it is like going to another country where they drive on the other side of the road. You just have to be super vigilant in everything little move until the new habits fully become your automatic behaviour.

BrokenT posted 4/21/2013 01:38 AM

I wish my husband considers thinking, he's actually repeating everything he used to do when he was having his affair (coming home late, hanging out with people I've never met or known, ignoring our son, becoming non-responsive unless it's sex of course) and do on and so forth. In fact, I'm wondering if once a cheater always a cheater is true right now!

KBeguile posted 4/21/2013 16:19 PM

In fact, I'm wondering if once a cheater always a cheater is true right now!

It's true in the sense of, "Once you were arrested and charged with a felony, you will always be a 'felon.'" It's not true in the sense of changing behavior. If it were impossible for a WS to reform, there wouldn't be a whole section of this website dedicated to Reconciliation. It is possible -- it's just something that both parties have to be willing and able to commit to.

Some WSes either can't or won't make that commitment. Some want to, but lack/need guidance and direction. There are other cases as well, but I just want to make certain you're not accusing us all of never wanting to change!

BrokenT posted 4/25/2013 12:20 PM

KBeguile, no I'm just accusing my husband

I actually read a lot of posts here and lots of men are doing such a great work and strong efforts to get their wives love back. Good for u guys. May u all be granted love and happiness.

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