If he agrees to take the polygraph, it will only take place the first week of June. He is away working until June 8th!
I know several couples personally who went through with it and revealed that the WS had in fact told the complete truth. It can be a source of great relief to the BS if this is the case... no more wondering.
I hope he agrees and I hope it goes well.
If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
I don't know how well any of it works, but just don't give him a chance to do the research and it won't matter how good it is.
Finally divorced Jul/17
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
Why, the most powerful act in this universe "Love" can crush a soul. If not tended to?
Back to the poly - if he's balking it's because he's still hiding something. Plain and simple. Just let him know that you know.
Does that not say everything
Yep. It pretty much does.
Just fyi...sometimes the WS will throw out a last minute confession thinking the BS will then cancel the test because they've now told the "entire truth". If this happens, don't cancel. Proceed with the test because there is typically more info they haven't disclosed.
True that. My WH even said he did this. Shit, we still haven't scheduled the poly. We will, but he told me he used this tactic during a week of TT back in January. Figured if he agreed to it and even called the poly guy himself to inquire about cost, scheduling, etc. that I'd back out because I'd see he was "totally OK with doing the poly." He even suggested the poly himself (not me) as some sort of reverse psych. Gotta get on this myself and get there.
He also admitted to researching how to trick the poly.
The only thing I will say is that if I was asked to take a poly about something I was telling 100% truth about - it would still scare me. Its the unknown. Its knowing that one machine could decide my fate. That's a lot of eggs in one basket, KWIM? So even an honest WS might get nervous. I think that's acceptable.
What if he wont' do it? How much are you going to push? Be careful not to issue ultimatums that you can't follow through on. But if you're really serious about this, I'd schedule it and haul his ass there. If he refuses, kick him out. If you can handle that outcome...
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.