I am not looking for anyone to play me the world's smallest violin. Right now it would just help me immensely to not feel so incredibly alone with this pain and struggle. I feel I am truly giving this my all, and sometimes I feel that having limitations are not acceptable. But trying to be "on" all the time is just wearing me so incredibly thin (no pun intended).
Any words of wisdom? I don't plan on giving up by any stretch of the imagination. Even if my BS decided I am too complex a puzzle to solve, I am dedicated to fitting my own pieces together so that I don't repeat any of my devastating mistakes.
For me every day is a struggle just to get out of bed, but I have to go on, have to get on with it. For myself at least.
It feels selfish, but you have to focus on sorting your own issues out before you can deal with the other issues facing you both, because your issues, like mine, are what led you to cheat, and unless you sort those, there's no reason for BS to believe that it's not going to happen again
I can be OK one minute and thinking how lucky I am to have my H and then all of a sudden I think how stupid and pathetic I am.
I personally always remember what someone told me a very long time ago, "all feelings are temporary" i.e. you won't always feel that way, something will come up and distract you from it. It probably sounds bizarre but it helps me. Here at work we have "when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so long in the first place". I've stared at that a few times over the past few months.
Also, it's great that you're working in yourself. When I learn what other people are are doing it inspires me. This makes you an inspiration, not a failure.
So even though I struggle, and everyday seems is hard, I'm learning to accept that these are MY struggles, and I own them. They are a part of me and they are valid. I think by identifying that, we can begin the process of learning to get past that. We need to embrace the pain in order to overcome it. Does that make sense? I hope so.
Barely holding it together a lot of days. All I can do is grit my teeth and keep on moving.
Sorry no words of wisdom, just ((((hugs)))).
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
Sorry, I really just wanted to say that I feel your pain. ((thumbelina))