I'm so sorry you are here and in such awful agony, but there are many who have walked in your shoes here, with love, support and tenderness to offer you and to guide you through the worlds most terrible roller coaster ride.
Fresh and gaping wounds to the heart render us incapable of making rational decisions at the time of discovery, so please be gentle with yourself at this time, and although sleep is difficult, resting the body is vital.
If you are unable to eat right now, just take in plenty of fluid. Your body is in shock.
Your feelings are perfectly valid, and you are far from a fool sweet. You are not in ANY WAY responsible for your WS behaviour.
As hard as it feels at the moment, try to give yourself a little distance, as though you were looking at things from the window of a cafe. My Mummy was a wise and remarkable woman, who always told me, 'If you don't know what to do right now, don't do anything until you do'.
Your psychological and physiological state are both on hyper alert, and this is VERY intense.
If it is possible to talk with a close friend, or go for a walk, then this might offer some immediate relief until you feel able to at least sit for a moment.
If you have questions then right them down and either ask your partner outright or give him the list with the opportunity to choose two or three to answer to begin with.
My heart is filled with sympathy for your obvious pain and anguish, and my thoughts are with you.