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So scared. Help!

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Sufferintruth777 posted 4/19/2013 12:28 PM

Leaving for the weekend with daughter (4). Leaving WW at home with son (2) and OM live across the street. It was an EA via text. And both have agreed to me that they will cease all contact. Both of us do need time apart because it has been hell for the past 2 weeks. (Dday2- 4/6/13). What should I do? Should I go and possibly open myself up to be a victim of a PA by WS or should I stay for more fighting and drama. She has an appt with an IC Monday. Help!

27yearsnowlost posted 4/19/2013 13:50 PM

Wow I wish I could help. I don't know anything about your back story, like d day or how long nc letter etc.

If it was me in my situation I would have to trust my gut.

And hope for the best but you will still worry all weekend, anyway. Enjoy the time with your daughter. She what matters that weekend.

Hang in there.

confused615 posted 4/19/2013 13:54 PM

I'd go..but I'd hide a few VARS around the house..under the the living room..etc.

simplydevastated posted 4/19/2013 14:02 PM

I agree with confused. You have to do whatever you need to feel safe and if that's getting VAR's then do it.

Can you bring your son so if the OM does come over (hopefully not) he won't be around him? Just a thought.

Good luck


Edith posted 4/19/2013 14:15 PM

Why can't SHE leave? And if you have to leave, why are you taking your child?

Hoping you feel better.


toomanyregrets posted 4/19/2013 14:17 PM


There's not much you can do to stop a PA if your WW wants to be with the OM.
Even if you don't go, it won't solve anything. You can't watch her every second and doing that will drive you crazy.

Go enjoy time with your daughter and try, I know it's impossible, to forget about them for awhile.

LastChanceLarry posted 4/19/2013 14:36 PM

I feel for you, brother. I too have spent way too much time and energy trying to keep WGF and OM apart and all my efforts were wasted. The cold hard truth of it is this, if she wants to see him then she will.

If not this weekend, then next, or late one night, or if you go on a business trip. There is ZERO stopping a WS from doing anything. Z-E-R-O.

Get out, enjoy some time with DD, try to feel normal even if it's just for the weekend.

There are plenty of folks here with great advice for you. There will be some bitter pills to swallow but we all want to help you minimize the pain and move forward in a healthy way.

VARs help. Hide multiple if you can (just don't tape them under a counter, WGF found mine almost as soon as i left the apartment ).

Good luck.


HelpMe123 posted 4/19/2013 22:20 PM

I too just learned of EA I guess I'm fairly lucky because he says he met her online and has yet to meet her. However, he won't stop speaking to her and has told me to move out with our son that I am ruining his life. I am scared but not really about his EA. I'm scared for my child's future since his father is refusing to stop the EA and try to repair the damage to our family before a PA begins.

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