Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: chinaandback (61844)

User Topic: So scared. Help!
♂ 38930
Member # 38930
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Leaving for the weekend with daughter (4). Leaving WW at home with son (2) and OM live across the street. It was an EA via text. And both have agreed to me that they will cease all contact. Both of us do need time apart because it has been hell for the past 2 weeks. (Dday2- 4/6/13). What should I do? Should I go and possibly open myself up to be a victim of a PA by WS or should I stay for more fighting and drama. She has an appt with an IC Monday. Help!

Posts: 4 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Easton, PA
♀ 38787
Member # 38787
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow I wish I could help. I don't know anything about your back story, like d day or how long nc letter etc.

If it was me in my situation I would have to trust my gut.

And hope for the best but you will still worry all weekend, anyway. Enjoy the time with your daughter. She what matters that weekend.

Hang in there.

Bw (me) 47
WH (him) 59
D day 3/7/2013
Married 26 together 28
2 adult sons 25 and 22

Posts: 167 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: nj
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd go..but I'd hide a few VARS around the house..under the the living room..etc.

FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with confused. You have to do whatever you need to feel safe and if that's getting VAR's then do it.

Can you bring your son so if the OM does come over (hopefully not) he won't be around him? Just a thought.

Good luck


Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
♀ 38337
Member # 38337
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why can't SHE leave? And if you have to leave, why are you taking your child?

Hoping you feel better.


The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. John 1:5

Posts: 569 | Registered: Feb 2013
♂ 37740
Member # 37740
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


There's not much you can do to stop a PA if your WW wants to be with the OM.
Even if you don't go, it won't solve anything. You can't watch her every second and doing that will drive you crazy.

Go enjoy time with your daughter and try, I know it's impossible, to forget about them for awhile.

BH - 66 - Retired
fWW - 62

"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife
"Regret is when you realize you broke your own heart.
Remorse is when you realize you broke someone else's." - Bla

Posts: 745 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Upstate NY
♂ 37322
Member # 37322
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel for you, brother. I too have spent way too much time and energy trying to keep WGF and OM apart and all my efforts were wasted. The cold hard truth of it is this, if she wants to see him then she will.

If not this weekend, then next, or late one night, or if you go on a business trip. There is ZERO stopping a WS from doing anything. Z-E-R-O.

Get out, enjoy some time with DD, try to feel normal even if it's just for the weekend.

There are plenty of folks here with great advice for you. There will be some bitter pills to swallow but we all want to help you minimize the pain and move forward in a healthy way.

VARs help. Hide multiple if you can (just don't tape them under a counter, WGF found mine almost as soon as i left the apartment ).

Good luck.


D-Day: 8/27/12
Me: BBF (29)
WXGF: Confused26 (27) EA/PA with xBF, lasted almost a year. TT, blameshifting, gaslighting, & broken NC for 10 months.
DS: 3
Together 5 years

3+ years later and I am doing great! Hell of a ride but well worth it.

Posts: 318 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: New England
♀ 39044
Member # 39044
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too just learned of EA I guess I'm fairly lucky because he says he met her online and has yet to meet her. However, he won't stop speaking to her and has told me to move out with our son that I am ruining his life. I am scared but not really about his EA. I'm scared for my child's future since his father is refusing to stop the EA and try to repair the damage to our family before a PA begins.

Me BS 37
Him 47
OW 32
Together 12 years
D-Day was told it was EA 4/11/2013 found out it was PA 4/21/2013 :( I am broken
1 son (9)
3 kids from previous (19,17,16)
His kids from previous 2 (17, 15)

Posts: 74 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 8

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.