[This message edited by HelpMe123 at 10:35 AM, April 20th (Saturday)]
[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 9:48 AM, April 20th (Saturday)]
Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
Believe me when I tell you that there will come a point where your pain diminishes and what's left is clarity and disdain for what he's done to you.
Take care of yourself and your son and just try to breathe today. Do what you can in small steps, and come here anytime you need to vent or ask questions.
Remember - you did nothing to deserve this. This isn't your fault, and you are going to be ok. I know it doesn't feel like it now but it's true. That's why so many of us stayed, to tell you that you're going to be ok because we are ok now.
Sending you hugs and strength.
Whatever else you do....DON'T BEG.
You deserve better than this.
Make today a special day for your son. Then blast your dirt bag husband into another dimension - but do it tomorrow!
HUGS...pull out the fake smile and get through, I know its hard.
Strength to you and prayers
OMG he keeps texting me asking if I need anything for the party!!!!!
Tell him you don't need anything, but OUR son needs a dad who isn't a scum bag that cheats and f..ks around because your not sure what kind of paper to wrap a lying cheating fucking bastard of a dad gift with.
Wishing your son a Happy Birthday and wishing you a special day as well.
Although not the exact situation, mine is somewhat similar. My WW left me and my son for a few days to go with a female friend of hers to a 'wine tasting' event only 2 hours away from home. It turns out, she never went there, and instead, flew to another state to be with her AP, and never told me. I ended up almost having a medical emergency during this time, and tried to contact her, but her phone was 'turned off'. To know that she was completely 'gone' in another state and we had no way of finding her should something happen, in terms of an emergency, is a LOT to deal with, especially with a child. It just goes to show how a WS is just simply NOT THINKING about anyone but themselves when they are in the midst of an A.
I know it's probably very hard to think of this EA turning into a PA, but hey, one way to look of it is that at least you know, and you can't get any worse once you have the whole A package (EA & PA). So it's only up from here. But it all lies within you to do what feels right for you and your son. Don't do anything that you don't feel in your heart is right for you or your child. You and your child should be priority #1.
Be strong and take care! Hopefully it is only UP from here for you! Regardless, we BS' on SI are all here for you. Come here whenever you need to or want to for support. Sadly, we've all 'been there'.
For some reason, STBXH bringts things like groceries sometimes or does house projects and it is great pain and blow to my pride to see this. I don't ask for anything at all and put up with broken things in order to avoid asking. Lots of times he just does something without asking if I want him too and that bothers me, too.
Do you think he asked about things for the party because he felt guilty? Or wanted to have some attention and yur thanks when he got there? Another thought is that it takes attention away from what he's actually doing and maybe he thinks you can't think of him as such a bad guy.
My STBXH said a few weeks ago: "why do you think I answer your texts or help at the house? It's because I'm not a monster". I don't know if any of that helps.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.