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Angel177 posted 4/20/2013 12:55 PM

WH or OW. Yesterday SIL said to me "well maybe you can just ignore what happened but I can't. This is really hard on me."

Excuse me? EXCUSE ME??? My husband (her brother) cheated on me with my friend. I chose to stay and try to deal with it and move forward because I love him. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. This does not mean I am ignoring what happened. I lay on the floor sobbing in pure and complete devastation several times a week. I am broken, shattered and completely destroyed and will never be quite whole ever again. I have no choice but to pick myself up and continue moving forward though for myself, the baby I'm pregnant with and my 2 year old. There are days I would love to just lay in a dark room and hide from everything all day but I can't. So I'm doing my best to carry on.

This has been hard on her?? He may be her brother but she can not compare her dissapointment in him to mine. How does who he sleeps with really have anything to do with her?? She is a serial cheater. She has no concept for the pain a BS feels since she has only ever been a cheater.

I was so mad I quit talking to her and have not talked to her since. How can people be so insensitive?? Times like this I wish this had not blown up so publicly.

Rant over.

catlover50 posted 4/20/2013 13:06 PM

((((Angel117))))

Sometimes people can only think of themselves.

And you are right. Only another BS can truly understand what you are feeling. The fact that it appears that you are okay is a testament to how well you are keeping it together when you need to.

Continued strength to you .

ItsaClimb posted 4/20/2013 13:07 PM

Sometimes people are so insensitive! I lost my best friend after she said something incredibly insensitive about the A and then got pissed with me when I told her I thought she was out of line... she hasn't spoken to me since. The consequences of As are so far-reaching...

heforgotme posted 4/20/2013 14:32 PM

Sounds like she's pretty selfish herself.

Runs in the family???

Angel177 posted 4/22/2013 19:56 PM

Yes unfortunately it does. FIL cheated (MIL suspects he was a serial cheater but can't prove it) he married OW and is still with her 14 years later. SIL has never been married but has cheated on her common law partners who were the fathers of her children. I thought WH escaped it, thought he was more like his mom, guess not. Now I just hope our kids break the cheating cycle and don't do the same thing their dad did and his dad before him.

Still haven't spoken to SIL. I have cooled down but I'm still ticked. I keep reminding myself that she isn't capable of understanding my pain and she really needs to try and turn the focus to her, it's just who she is.

Pudding posted 4/23/2013 11:12 AM

Reminds me way back when my SIL (first marriage) told me that should not have told her about her brother ( my first H) as it had upset her and caused her sleepless nights!

I am here because of my second FWH, but problems with first H were far worse. Alcoholic, sex addict, extensive use of male and female prostitutes finally ended up hitting me and sexually assaulting me in front of my teenage sons. SIl told me off for kicking him out and then blamed me for telling her why because she couldn't sleep!!!