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Newest Member: debsous (61846)

User Topic: In-house separation... :P
♀ 37542
Member # 37542
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, April 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBX is suppose to be returning from his out of state training in a week. I emailed him tonight asking him to make living arrangements elsewhere. Whether he respects this or not is anyone's guess. At least my mom is staying with me until he leaves for the second half of his out of state training.

The thought of in-house separation again is terrifying. When I think about my emotional state after D-day up until he left for training in January, I just want to crawl into a ball and cry. I was a mess, barely hanging on, and only functioning enough to take care of our baby.

He'd use my emotional state against me, manipulate me, and he definitely messed with my postpartum memory loss. It got to the point where I had to document every conversation because it was the only way I could think straight.

Then after finding out he deliberately lead me to believe we were trying to R, only to prevent me from leaving him I fell apart. His admission to using me was more painful than D-day.

I'm just not sure I have the strength to do this.

BS (Me)
WS (H)
Married 5 yrs; Together 10 yrs

D-Day 11/14/12
Limbo 1 month
False R 2 months.
Status: Divorce on hold

Posts: 228 | Registered: Nov 2012
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, April 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, he so needs to get out of your house. In-house separation is awful. We did that until I found about the A and then I threw his ass out. Fortunately, he had a place to go. There is no way I could live with STBXH's stupid ass now.

I would throw his shit in the garage and tell him it's ready for him to pick up on his way to his new place.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 1270 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: AZ
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You do have the strength.. Dig down deep if you have to. Trust me, living with in house S is a disturbing level of HELL that is soul sucking. THAT is what you don't have strength for.

Pack his shit. Tell him he is no longer welcome and needs to create an exit plan TO-freaking-DAY.

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

Posts: 3870 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
♀ 38458
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't give him the option! Tell him he's getting the f* out and to get his stuff. If he tries to make a stand and stay, make EVERY second of his stay as miserable as possible.

All the anger and frustration that he caused, unleash it on him (verbally not physically) until he agrees to go. I literally followed my WH around the house telling him he had to go and why over and over and over again until he packed his crap and left 2 in the morning!

As long as there are hotels with vacancies, he has a place to go.

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
♀ 37542
Member # 37542
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe its time to purchase a pair of bitch boots. Am I using this term correctly?

I have not received a response from him, but will hold my ground if he protests.

BS (Me)
WS (H)
Married 5 yrs; Together 10 yrs

D-Day 11/14/12
Limbo 1 month
False R 2 months.
Status: Divorce on hold

Posts: 228 | Registered: Nov 2012
♂ 36726
Member # 36726
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes throw him out if you can. He may fight it legally if he is on the deed which would make it difficult for you. But having your mom there is a great move. I did that as well and it helped seal the deal on her leaving. Stay strong, it is hard but you can do it.

BH me 47
WW her 39
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (13, 10)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13
She - engaged 5/13 married 9/13

Posts: 656 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: PA
♀ 22812
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

gear yourself prepared for it, hopefully it won't happen but you need to prepare for it if it does.....and yes it sucks, i am livin i recommend you find outlets, as many as you can, working out, dancin, walkin...fortunately spring is supposed to be comin and bringin better weather so you could take the baby and go walkin, go to the beach, the park...just go....if possible get separate bedrooms...put all his stuff in a den or basement for him to sleep in...prepare for all sich's that you will encounter living in the same will make the transition just a bit easier, its already hard enough....if you are not seeing a 'c', then do so, take ad's if you can, even if its just a xanax now and proactive in rebuilding YOU!!!

i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

and i keep on steppin!!!

Posts: 6058 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
♀ 16958
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 1:28 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know what you mean. Our lease isn't up till July and I know he's going to say he's on the lease and not leaving. He's also going to say he helped pay for the bed so he should sleep in it, then try to help himself to m in the middle of the night. Argh! We have no legal recourse to kick them put right? So if they refuse to leave how do you cope?

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!

Posts: 949 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Topic Posts: 8

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