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Newest Member: Mercedes66 (46046)

User Topic: Dogs and full time working
foreverempty
♂ 34426
Member # 34426
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess it's as simple as the title suggests.

Is it fair? I'm really wanting some company at my house especially as I'm now looking to keep it.

I've set my heart on a Portuguese Water Dog, ideal due to their suitability for allergy sufferers which my mum is.

I miss my old dog that I had to get re-homed last year when I was struggling to stay alive at times and was living with my parents.

My parents are worried it will be another complication in my life and I should settle into my new job and see how things go first with if I can keep the house as part of the divorce.

Ummmm.....

I've just read that through! I think I know what the responses will be now!

[This message edited by foreverempty at 2:28 PM, April 21st (Sunday)]


Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 673 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
clralb
♀ 17185
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, probably a good idea to wait.

I understand wanting a dog, I really do, but at this time it is unfair for the four-legged little furball.

Wait a bit.


"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha

Posts: 682 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
foreverempty
♂ 34426
Member # 34426
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was meant to say that I am keeping the house, autocorrect said I was not keeping it. LOL


Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 673 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
turned123
♂ 33663
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After being in my new home for awhile after I moved out I did decide to get a rescue dog. It did help with my kid withdrawal when they were not with me. I do have to work full time so I felt bad for the pooch being home alone all day. It gave me a great excuse to hit the bricks as soon as I got home from work we walk a lot! after another year I ended up getting a chocolate lab puppy to keep doggie #1 company while I was at work. Ive had dogs forever but Oh my gosh did I forget how much work a puppy is the only downside for me has been it gets a little complicated when I want to travel. Waiting a while is a good idea. Settle in to your new routine and then decide. I love my doggies and they are soo much part of my family but they do deserve much attention because they are family


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
KeepOnMovin
♂ 38245
Member # 38245
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A dog can be a total anchor. makes for difficulties with work schedule and if you want to go out of town, etc.

i've had my rescue dog for about 4 years. with my kids now gone half of the time, Sunny makes for great company. She's a lab of some sort. Sheds more than STBX did, but is better company. Less two dimensional, always supportive of me if i want to go for a walk (every morning at 5:30!), and doesn't fool around with other men.

So, it is work, but my dog has helped me tremendously. Glad i have her!


Me: BH
Her: who cares?
Married: 22 years
2 sons at home
1 son in college
Divorced on 9/4/14!
Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

Posts: 446 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
phmh
♀ 34146
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for really thinking about this before making a snap decision.

I have done a fair amount of volunteer work with rescue animals (mostly parrots and reptiles, but some tangential work with dogs) for the past 10 years, and it makes me so sad how many are surrendered a year or so after the novelty wears off, when people realize they really don't have enough time for the pet.

Especially since you've had to rehome a dog recently, I think it makes a lot of sense to get more settled before making such a serious decision. (Full disclosure: I love dogs and XWH and I were going to get one this year, once I stopped working full-time. I'd love to get one, but my life now doesn't support it, so I definitely understand where you're coming from!)

I don't know what options are in the UK, but here a lot of shelters need volunteers to walk dogs that are waiting to find a home. Perhaps volunteering at a place like that could satisfy some of your desire to have a pet, while possibly meeting new people, helping animals, and making you feel better about yourself (studies show volunteering is one of the best ways to feel happy.) It's a win-win-win-win situation!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3541 | Registered: Dec 2011
foreverempty
♂ 34426
Member # 34426
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the replies.

Jjust writing it out made me realise I need to hold back. Sometimes seeing it written down makes all the difference.

Phmh, I've though about volanteering at a dog shelter, but my life and the work I've done hasnt allowed me to do a great deal at home as I've been away in a hotel for weeks at at time.

My new job will have me local to my house permanently so I'll be home every day, hence the thought of getting a dog.

Maybe I need to look again at the volanteering.


Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 673 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In fairness to the dogs, they do get lonely left home all day, and that can cause them to act out and get into mischief.
I know how strong the pull of wanting one for companionship is. I would love nothing more than a Newfie or St. Bernard to keep me company and be my buddy, but I'm not home near enough to be fair to the pup.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2624 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Dawnie
♀ 26912
Member # 26912
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dogs are great but like previous posters said can really weigh you down. Have you ever considered getting a cat? They are great company and dont weigh you down nearly as much as a dog. If you get 2 cats together they will always have a companion and you dont have to feel guilty about leaving them alone. Just food for thought...


DIVORCED! Remarried to a real man!
BW (me) - 41 (now 47)
WH (him) - 43 (now 48)
OW - 23 yr old foreign gold digging whore looking for her American meal ticket
1 14 yr old son (now 20)
married 20 years/together 25 years
D day - 9/23/2009 5pm

Posts: 804 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Mid Atlantic coast
Crescita
♀ 32616
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In addition to your work schedule, consider your after work routines. Do you like going straight home after work? Staying in most of the night? If you have friends or family nearby, or a neighbor that can help out from time to time it’s easier, but a dog can really cut into your social life if you don’t have anyone to help. People joke about cats running things, but I think dogs are the ones that have a way of keeping responsible owners on a short leash. I mean just think about those puppy eyes, they will keep you tethered.


“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3578 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Mousse242
♀ 6330
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My parents are worried it will be another complication in my life and I should settle into my new job and see how things go first with if I can keep the house as part of the divorce.

Wait. If you find you cannot keep your house, you will find yourself with the probability of having to find a home for this dog too depending on where you end up.

Also consider a rescue/older dog (you can look for a rescue PWD) instead of a puppy with your hours or consider a walking service that will come once a day to walk the pup mid day while you're working.

When I'm working - I'm laid off now - my mom comes by most days to let them out for me, when she can't my neighbor often fills in her place and lets them out for me.


Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I. Would. Wait.

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You could always get a senior dog. They are always the first to get put down at the shelter and the last to get adopted. They don't require as much exercise as young dogs, and you'd be saving a life.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3564 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Catwoman
♀ 1330
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I vote for a cat or to wait. I love my dog dearly, but he does tie me down in terms of schedules and such. I wish I had a little more freedom.

My cats are wonderful company.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29739 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
foreverempty
♂ 34426
Member # 34426
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone.

On reflection and feedback from you all I am waiting and seeing how my life settles.


Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 673 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
Topic Posts: 15

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