Not looking forward to the backlash... XWBF is guaranteed to blow up at me... I just have to remember its his anger talking and none if it means a thing...
But I'm scared.
Mrs. Robinson- 41, S but still M
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin
I'm really proud of you. Stand up for yourself now... the gaslighters and blameshifters may try to put this back on you. Let their words bounce off if so, and know that you are a GOOD person who did the RIGHT thing.
“I can see the sun, but even if I cannot see the sun, I know that it exists. And to know that the sun is there - that is living.” - Dostoyevsky
I am too good for this... I wish XWBF was too...
He's a big boy.
I am too good for this
Good thing it's not XWH.
It won't be the same
I hope not. I hope you're looking for better!
I wanted to stick it to her really badly, but I had a DD to protect, and in the end it's so much better to just leave them in the dust as you move on with your life. I'm glad you feel a little better.
Learning to breathe again - one day at a time
If I wanted to be really snarky I'd ask XWBF when he's going to friend her and make it FB official (on their main accounts, not the pseudo accounts) but I'd rather take the high road. I find it funny that they arent very open about their relationship though. They're not as ashamed as they ought to be, but at least they are a bit.
I am struggling with jealousy when a WH or WS comes through the light of the fog, but now is too late and too much damage anyway for him to come back.
I am trying so hard to get to the point where you are. DS and I are alone quite a lot-when school is not open-and I struggle to come up with activities and things to keep her busy in my down time. We have family and few friends who we do things with and as you say life goes on, but something so large is missing and destroyed.
I have, in down times, considered contacting OW to tell her I am pregnant but I never would, it's just vengence and irrationality.
Good luck to you and bless your strength.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
Good for you confronting!
XWBF's friend who had an affair with this woman first (XWBF is the rebound) said that she asked him how his sex life w his GF was. He admitted it wasn't that great atm. She offered no strings sex, you know, to help him out. He eventually caved. They were together twice and she tried to make things more serious. He backed off fast, confessed to his gf, they R and are now engaged.
I know she played the same game with my XWBF and he was too damn gullible and weak and selfish to walk away. Instead he left me.
What is the matter with someone like her???
I might be different though as I don't want him back. I'm honestly kind of grateful that he did dump us. As hurtful as it is, I don't think I could ever trust him again after this. I read through the reconciliation board sometimes and am glad I'm not there. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if he really wants to be with me and if he's out picking up on women. I want to find someone new that has integrity and isn't a slimy coward like STBX.
I'm trying to slow down my reading, so thanks for the notes and clarification on your post, RumorHasIt. I, too, have these kind of maternal worries about him and have to stop, for in my mind I know what his choices are but my heart is not in the same place.
I and the rest of our friends and family see him taking such a massive dive but there's nothing anyone could say-except OW, who is in her own fog-to change it.
When I am at my rare strong times, I even think of what a loser STBXH has become and I count up his losses or failings and it helps. It's not very nice and I tend to ask for forgiveness for bad behavior, but my IC said its a coping mechanism.
Do any of you ever do that?
I don't believe OW in this case is tied to anyone else either but it wouldn't surprise me. He told me there is OW junior who has named a dog after our last name and put it all over her FB. I'm trying to remember her age and she's a kid, but it was a very piercing arrow nonetheless.
I'm trying to remember that I'm too good for it, too, for I would never accept a married man's "advances" and have several times been ...solicited that way.
And I can know that my time with STBXH began the right way, while hers was lies and stealing and wrecking a family with a little kid.
I still think you did the right thing, rumor has it. And why make a problem when there are already so many?
I have been told here to drop it, but gees, he's only 34 and my XWH is a slimy 46 year old.
MY xwh AND slut are still telling his family (live in another state) thar i am crazy and they r friends.
Anyway, I, too, thought when D was final, it was just over
and they would move on. Nope, they try to play head games continually. This really makes me stronger!
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day