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prove my self?

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Strawda posted 4/22/2013 05:25 AM

How do i prove my self to BS? How do i prove i wont strey or cheat ever again an truely want only her rest my life? How do i prove conviction and muchurity now. Words arnt enuf eather. How i prove by actions? How do i prove i can be that safe place? BS is fearing she get attached and i will do the betayal again. How i prove by actions i wont. Cuss words are not enuf anymore after you make your words meaningless and lies :'( please ideas anyone?

[This message edited by Strawda at 5:26 AM, April 22nd (Monday)]

authenticnow posted 4/22/2013 05:55 AM

It is a long process. You have to show her consistently, every day that you are being honest and open with her.

How do i prove i wont strey or cheat ever again an truely want only her rest my life?
How do YOU know this? You are feeling very sorry and afraid right now because you don't want to lose your wife, but what tools are you putting into place to ensure this won't happen? Most people don't plan to cheat, and then they do.

So, before you start trying to 'convince' your wife that you will be loyal and true the rest of your life (which is what you have already promised when you got married), what are you doing to actually make it happen?

This is what she needs to see you doing. Working on YOU, being true every day with actions standing by your words. No boundary crossing, no lying, true focus on the M and fixing yourself, every single day.

Strawda posted 4/22/2013 09:48 AM

We never got married. Engaged but nere did. An shes glad an in way i am to. I list my shot but was not diserving of it. I. Am going to IC everyweak. An looking on hear and wrighting. I. Was removed from living with her. An have to give resons to make work again. So it is difrent what i must do since not there by her side every day as i wish i was. I must show i not cheating or sterling. Cuss my words dont help all time since not around her. I will not be with her inless i can prove self werth and ive grown up and can be trusted an know for sure what i want in life. So if have any odeas what to do when not liven with the BS and how prove werth let me know. Thnx

thumbelina posted 4/22/2013 09:55 AM

This just takes time. In my experience, what has helped the most was showing that I am dedicated to improving the things in myself that led to the A in the first place. For me, these things were low self-esteem, boundary issues, poor communication skills, etc. As my BS has seen me take the necessary steps to work through these issues, he has begun to trust me more. Most importantly, you HAVE to be patient with your BS. Trust is not built overnight, and certainly not on words alone. Words will provide little comfort to her- actions will speak the loudest. Also, you have to be patient with yourself. Many of the issues that led you to stray will take a lot of work to address.

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