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Newest Member: BrnEyes777 (45750)

User Topic: My mom and my sister are driving me nuts!!!
bluelady
♀ 11061
Member # 11061
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My sister got engaged about a month ago. She asked me to be her maid of honor and I accepted. In all, there are 5 of us standing for her and I know all but one. She and my mom have been in full planning mode ever since and they've already started talking about attendant's dresses.

A couple of things to know about me:

1) I have a very hard body to dress. I'm tall and tend towards an apple shape, not because of extra body fat, but because my rib cage is large. Although, any extra weight I do carry, I carry around my middle. The widest part of my frame is just under my bust.

2) I'm most comfortable in jeans and t-shirts. I'm pretty laid back. While I do enjoy looking nice, I'm certainly not taking any fashion risks.

Well, my mom and my sister keep sending me pictures of dresses that I KNOW will not look good on my body. Empire waisted dresses make me look HUGE. Believe me, I've tried. I've told them this. They poo-poo me and tell me that for my shape, I should be in an empire waist. Ok, whatever. I've only been dealing with my body my whole life. And, what's frustrating is that they're passing over beautiful dresses that WOULD work because they "won't work for bluelady". Except that they would.

I know that it isn't my day and in the end, I will wear whatever my sister puts me in. But I do have some pride and I don't want to look the fool. I know her other attendants. They're all quite petite (as is my sister), so I'm already going to stand out due to my height. I told SO the other day that I'm preparing myself to look like the Jolly Pink Giant.

To be honest, I don't really know why this upsets me. It just does.


Me (BS): 35

Divorced


Posts: 1472 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: a little bit of everywhere
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:16 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know her other attendants. They're all quite petite (as is my sister), so I'm already going to stand out due to my height

I'm dealing with this for a wedding (my brothers) that I'll be in this fall. I'm 5'8", size 6-8, the other girls (bride included) are 5'0" - 5'4" and size 0-2. I've come down from a size 12 since last fall, but the dress she picked out is shorter than anything I own (I'm going to see if the seamstress can let it out any), and she's got the guys we are paired with matched up in reverse height order, so the shortest girl is walking with the tallest guy. The whole situation amuses me to no end, but on some level I do feel like I'll finally be living up to my name here on SI


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13873 | Registered: Jul 2011
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ps - are you local? I assume your sister has just been sending you pics of dresses, why not schedule a time with her to go to David's and try on a bunch of styles to let her see what looks good on you? Even if you end up buying somewhere that isn't David's (worst customer service ever!) it would at least run home your point.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13873 | Registered: Jul 2011
JustDone
♀ 9742
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blue, and if you're not local, can you go to a place that sells the sort of dress you do look good in,, try them on, take pics, and email them to her?


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2807 | Registered: Feb 2006
why2008
♀ 18378
Member # 18378
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great idea Just Done...

Honestly, bridesmaid dresses are just horrid... I think I was a bridesmaid 5 or 6 times and hated spending the money on the dress every time! Please note I got roped into most weddings mainly as an extra body, I wasn't even especially close to most of the brides, and they weren't even family.

Also can't the maid of honor be in a different dress?

http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/qa/maid-of-honor-etiquette.aspx. Question 7.

Personally I like the idea of the same color of dress but different style. I'd call or meet with them right away and see if you can negotiate a compromise.


Me - BS - 46
Him - WS - 44
Two daughters / 10 and 7

Posts: 4074 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Maryland / DC
bluelady
♀ 11061
Member # 11061
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sort of local. We don't live in the same town, but we're only a couple of hours apart and I go up quite frequently.

I've kind of thought about this all day and I've come to the realization that it's not the dress that's the issue. I might look silly for one day, but it's just one day. The part that's bothering me is the way they're brushing off my recommendations on what looks good on MY body. They're treating me like a child and I don't like it (foot stomp and pout )


Me (BS): 35

Divorced


Posts: 1472 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: a little bit of everywhere
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been in many weddings, and my mantra has always been "It's her day, her way."

Trust me, I've worn everything from a dress with a collar up to my chin, to one dress with a big ass bow across my behind.

Both were dresses that I could "always wear again."

Ummm...nope.

All in the name of "Love you, girl. Have a great wedding day!"

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21104 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
amitheow
♀ 4691
Member # 4691
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mom and sister TRIED to make me look bad. I know they did. My mom also called all of our female relatives and told them I was jealous because my sister was younger and getting married first.


Old Timer, Just here to help
My screen name is: Am I The Ow? - Not Ami the OW.

Because in my situation I didn't know if I was the OW at first or if I was being cheated on. Found I was being cheated on.


Posts: 5085 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Texas
yewtree
♀ 16671
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not uncommon for the maid of Honor to wear a dress that is a different style than the bridesmaid dresses. Same color, but she stands apart from the others.

Perhaps if you address it like this, go try on dresses at a bridal shop and offer alternatives?

Do some research then present your argument. But, in the end it is her day. Good luck!


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4707 | Registered: Oct 2007
Topic Posts: 9

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