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My mom and my sister are driving me nuts!!!

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bluelady posted 4/22/2013 05:55 AM

My sister got engaged about a month ago. She asked me to be her maid of honor and I accepted. In all, there are 5 of us standing for her and I know all but one. She and my mom have been in full planning mode ever since and they've already started talking about attendant's dresses.

A couple of things to know about me:

1) I have a very hard body to dress. I'm tall and tend towards an apple shape, not because of extra body fat, but because my rib cage is large. Although, any extra weight I do carry, I carry around my middle. The widest part of my frame is just under my bust.

2) I'm most comfortable in jeans and t-shirts. I'm pretty laid back. While I do enjoy looking nice, I'm certainly not taking any fashion risks.

Well, my mom and my sister keep sending me pictures of dresses that I KNOW will not look good on my body. Empire waisted dresses make me look HUGE. Believe me, I've tried. I've told them this. They poo-poo me and tell me that for my shape, I should be in an empire waist. Ok, whatever. I've only been dealing with my body my whole life. And, what's frustrating is that they're passing over beautiful dresses that WOULD work because they "won't work for bluelady". Except that they would.

I know that it isn't my day and in the end, I will wear whatever my sister puts me in. But I do have some pride and I don't want to look the fool. I know her other attendants. They're all quite petite (as is my sister), so I'm already going to stand out due to my height. I told SO the other day that I'm preparing myself to look like the Jolly Pink Giant.

To be honest, I don't really know why this upsets me. It just does.

Amazonia posted 4/22/2013 06:16 AM

I know her other attendants. They're all quite petite (as is my sister), so I'm already going to stand out due to my height

I'm dealing with this for a wedding (my brothers) that I'll be in this fall. I'm 5'8", size 6-8, the other girls (bride included) are 5'0" - 5'4" and size 0-2. I've come down from a size 12 since last fall, but the dress she picked out is shorter than anything I own (I'm going to see if the seamstress can let it out any), and she's got the guys we are paired with matched up in reverse height order, so the shortest girl is walking with the tallest guy. The whole situation amuses me to no end, but on some level I do feel like I'll finally be living up to my name here on SI

Amazonia posted 4/22/2013 06:18 AM

Ps - are you local? I assume your sister has just been sending you pics of dresses, why not schedule a time with her to go to David's and try on a bunch of styles to let her see what looks good on you? Even if you end up buying somewhere that isn't David's (worst customer service ever!) it would at least run home your point.

JustDone posted 4/22/2013 08:25 AM

Blue, and if you're not local, can you go to a place that sells the sort of dress you do look good in,, try them on, take pics, and email them to her?

why2008 posted 4/22/2013 10:20 AM

Great idea Just Done...

Honestly, bridesmaid dresses are just horrid... I think I was a bridesmaid 5 or 6 times and hated spending the money on the dress every time! Please note I got roped into most weddings mainly as an extra body, I wasn't even especially close to most of the brides, and they weren't even family.

Also can't the maid of honor be in a different dress? Question 7.

Personally I like the idea of the same color of dress but different style. I'd call or meet with them right away and see if you can negotiate a compromise.

bluelady posted 4/22/2013 15:04 PM

I am sort of local. We don't live in the same town, but we're only a couple of hours apart and I go up quite frequently.

I've kind of thought about this all day and I've come to the realization that it's not the dress that's the issue. I might look silly for one day, but it's just one day. The part that's bothering me is the way they're brushing off my recommendations on what looks good on MY body. They're treating me like a child and I don't like it (foot stomp and pout )

ajsmom posted 4/22/2013 15:10 PM

I've been in many weddings, and my mantra has always been "It's her day, her way."

Trust me, I've worn everything from a dress with a collar up to my chin, to one dress with a big ass bow across my behind.

Both were dresses that I could "always wear again."


All in the name of "Love you, girl. Have a great wedding day!"


amitheow posted 4/22/2013 16:02 PM

My mom and sister TRIED to make me look bad. I know they did. My mom also called all of our female relatives and told them I was jealous because my sister was younger and getting married first.

yewtree posted 4/23/2013 12:03 PM

It's not uncommon for the maid of Honor to wear a dress that is a different style than the bridesmaid dresses. Same color, but she stands apart from the others.

Perhaps if you address it like this, go try on dresses at a bridal shop and offer alternatives?

Do some research then present your argument. But, in the end it is her day. Good luck!

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