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Newest Member: Questiounanswere (45696)

User Topic: So....I got asked out on a date last night......
She11ybeanz
♀ 27457
Member # 27457
Cool  Posted: 8:21 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is this guy who is part of my local hash running group who has been talking to me some on Facebook. I've met him in person at a few group runs and we have talked in person as well, but he started sending me messages and we have been chatting.

He's not my usual physical type....real skinny and about my height...maybe a little taller, BUT he is a college professor and very smart. Seems sweet too! My therapist in IC says I need to date men more on my education level (I have a master's) but I told her I would settle for a bachelor's! My XWH had an associates and Piper's sperm donor no college education at all. And, I was extremely attracted to both of them. So, maybe going outside of my usual "type" is a good thing....

But, he has asked me out a couple of times but every time he did...it was last minute on a Friday and I am a single mom and couldn't go (plus....as it would be...I had plans and was busy anyways!)

I hadn't heard from him in a couple of weeks...so I figured he gave up after the 2nd time and I turned him down...but last night he sent me another message asking if I would like to have dinner with him Thursday after work...giving me much more notice... and I'm thinking about it!

I haven't been on a date date in I can't remember how long....and its been almost a year since I broke up with my daughter's donor.... so maybe it would be nice to get my toes a little wet and go on my 1st date in over a year....


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
trumanshow
♀ 25624
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go! You don't have to commit to anything.. Just keep it casual and friendly. It will give you confidence and you may make a good friend. Just be honest with him about where yours at.

Your IC tells you who you should date?


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1758 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
She11ybeanz
♀ 27457
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She doesn't tell me who I should date, but is helping me work on the parts of me that attract the wrong type of men so that I may attract decent guys going forward! I totally agree with her on that and I think in the past my weakness for extremely attractive guys has blindsided me to their obvious flaws....

I think I will go. I think it would be fun to have a nice laid back casual dinner with the opposite sex. Its been a while! And, right now...I'm feeling really good about myself and it will give me more confidence in the whole dating scene...

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:37 AM, April 22nd (Monday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
k94ever
♀ 11176
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(sigh)

I'm happy for you. It sorta sounds like he just needed to be taught the mechanics of dating a single mom. Like....no waiting until the last minute. Must have firm start and stop times to assist with babysitter scheduling.

Have fun.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6602 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exciting

I have to say, my IC and I spent a lot of time talking about who I date, why, what attracts me to the wrong people, etc. too, and I get it. I think it's really smart to work through those patterns and understand them so that you are in control of yourself and your choices, rather than just following habits blindly.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13855 | Registered: Jul 2011
She11ybeanz
♀ 27457
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree Amazonia! I have had the very BAD HABIT of going for the "looks" and finding out the hard way that they were wolves in Channing Tatum Clothing!

And yes..k94ever! I agree!

He was kinda bad the last 2 times asking cause he asked me at like 6pm if I wanted to go to a jazz band out somewhere that night and I forget what the other was....but it was WAY too short of notice. But, I was out already with Piper and some friends both times. I definitely need plenty of notice being a single mom....for sure!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Survivor3512
♀ 37946
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go! And have fun! Let us know how it goes.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go!!! It's a date. Have fun. Enjoy the attention. No commitment!


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
PurpleBlueBella
♀ 38579
Member # 38579
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go if you feel ready! And report back of course!! :))

Posts: 54 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: United States
She11ybeanz
♀ 27457
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For the 1st time in a long time....I DO feel ready! In the past...the thought of a date made me sick to my stomach....and made me want to run the other way....but I'm actually getting excited about it!!! Crazy huh??!!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
wildbananas
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A date? What's that?

Seriously, go! It's not like you have to marry the guy. Go have a good time and yes, be honest about where you're at, just like trumanshow said.

We expect a report afterward.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15433 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Sunnie
♀ 33406
Member # 33406
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shellybeanz you are on a roll! First a great half marathon and now a date!

If he's nice and you know him, I say go for it. My therapist calls it "trying on shoes". Nice and light, keep it simple, have fun. If it doesn't work you have a great excuse to leave early (uh oh, babysitter called, should go home to make sure everything is ok :) Nothing to lose!


Me: BS (32)
Together: 14 years
DDay: May 18, 2011
Separation date: November 18, 2012

Posts: 73 | Registered: Sep 2011
She11ybeanz
♀ 27457
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree!!! I've already put a time limit on the night cause I usually get my daughter to bed between 8 and 9 anyways.... but I'm still excited! I think it will be nice to have dinner with a DECENT member of the opposite sex (that isn't my dad! )


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
dlmos
♂ 36839
Member # 36839
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweet! Go and have a good time


BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced

Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
Ashland13
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's really cool!

I'm rooting for you.

Something I would ask is, does anyone remember about how long it took them to switch gears and have that interest again?


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2353 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
k94ever
♀ 11176
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When this date happens we are going to need an update.

There are lots of us who are living vicariously through you guys

Dates are like Sasquatches. You always hear about them, but nobody ever really sees them.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6602 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

K94, you spend so much time drooling over everyone's dating posts, I think it's time for you to get back out there!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13855 | Registered: Jul 2011
Happydays
♂ 38681
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go! Go! Go!


BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
wildbananas
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dates are like Sasquatches. You always hear about them, but nobody ever really sees them.

Right?

Sorry for the t/j but that slayed me!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15433 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
k94ever
♀ 11176
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aah....but Ama first there must be members of the opposite sex that I would want to spend time with.

I have pretty high standards. Like they have to have teeth, take a shower, wear deoderant and have money. Then there is the requirement to be able to speak of things OTHER than the Green Bay Packers, ice fishing, deer hunting, regular fishing, and beer.

I live in NW WI....with my standards I don't see any dates in my forseeable future.

Hence having to live vicariously through you guys.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6602 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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