"I don't understand the world today I don't understand what she needs I gave her everything she threw it all away" tom petty
Is she in IC? Does she open up about about her feelings in MC? She is probably very, very confused at this point about how she feels and is likely consumed with guilt, shame, and feelings about all of the issues that led to the A in the first place.
Also, it sounds like your MC is encouraging rugsweeping, and wants to let your WW off the hook a bit. This can't happen if you guys are really going to move closer. You have to listen to your gut and make sure you have all of your questions answered and can see the full picture. Anything less than that is unfair to you, and will only serve to widen the divide that already exists between you and your WW.
[This message edited by thumbelina at 10:34 AM, April 22nd (Monday)]
Many MCs work on the belief that As stem from M issues, but SI's recommendation is to look for an MC who addresses the A first and then addresses M issues, if any are left over. This may be based on the idea that you can't deal with M issues until the partners trust each other, and the BS is unlikely to trust - and IMO shouldn't trust - the WS until the A has been dealt with and the WS has done a lot of work on herself.
I saw a blank look on my W during the A and during post-D-Day discussions/interrogations. I don't see how anyone can R with a blank look. (Of course, my W's blank look could mean something different from your W's.)
Despite probable problems with the MC, 4 months is still early in the healing process, so keep up your hope.
[This message edited by sisoon at 12:22 PM, April 22nd (Monday)]
Fire the MC,and find one qualified to help with couples dealing with infidelity. One that encourages complete transparency and honesty. One that understands trust is earned through actions,not because the WW thinks she should have it.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Various D Days and ridiculous TT. Not sure I am done with either.
Status: I am going to go with False R at this point...