Are you talking about this in MC sessions? If your MC is actively moving you away from A issues into M issues, get a new MC. The quicker, the better.
Many MCs work on the belief that As stem from M issues, but SI's recommendation is to look for an MC who addresses the A first and then addresses M issues, if any are left over. This may be based on the idea that you can't deal with M issues until the partners trust each other, and the BS is unlikely to trust - and IMO shouldn't trust - the WS until the A has been dealt with and the WS has done a lot of work on herself.
I saw a blank look on my W during the A and during post-D-Day discussions/interrogations. I don't see how anyone can R with a blank look. (Of course, my W's blank look could mean something different from your W's.)
Despite probable problems with the MC, 4 months is still early in the healing process, so keep up your hope.
[This message edited by sisoon at 12:22 PM, April 22nd (Monday)]