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Newest Member: Port (45718)

User Topic: Had a major melt down last night.
hurtmywife27
♂ 38799
Member # 38799
Happy  Posted: 10:35 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wife and me did not yell or shout at each other yesterday. But last night was horrible, we have been through some major changing times in our life. My son tried to commit suicide and was sent to a rehab for 2 years to follow has been a roller coaster for all of us and a financial burden. He is not a druggie or alcohol. He is very by polar. Then I had a boss that was very demanding and was a wealthy baby, I gave up a great job to take over this adventure with him. He promised my wife and me that if anything should happen, because we were friends that he would take care of us and leave 100k to get us through, he closed the marina 3 years ago this coming November. nada, no 100k and now I am unemployed for the first time in my life.. Very hard to deal with but my wife and me muddled through, figuring I was the best in heating and cooling and the top in the business, resumes went out. Over qualified and over paid, I told most of them I would work for what the op would get and once they see my performance then they can decide if I am worth more. No..so hear I am collecting unemployment with 7000 month bills. We had no choice but to file bankruptcy. We were able to save the house and the cars but the boat had to go and our way of life had changed. But we made it through, painfully. This was a big blow for us, I am the provider and don't ask my wife to pay bills. I finally land a job 1.5 hours away for have the money, another job that was family run and couldn't do what I was hired to do, felt useless sent more resumes out, was able to get my son to work with me, but they treated him bad. Then the big hit. Hurricane Sandy, devastated our house our well being, our oldest son moved out another hurt. Rebuilding our lost home, anxiety and then having to give up our German Shepard that we loved, he was my wife's dog from a pup. The emotional roller coaster has been over whelming and hard on both, I have always had a hard time talking to my wife about intimacy, un comfortable, didn't want to fight about it over the years. I chose the bad choice. 2 weeks ago my wife hit me with. Now we are just friends and it hit me! What did I do? I destroyed our lives more. Her well being is not well. We are working on us. Help aids waiting for IC for me talking to a therapist from church. But it's destroying me on what I have done, last night I went into a breakdown and wanted to end it. Not our marriage but me, but that would just put another burden on her. We have been Mutt and Jeff for 28 years. Loosing her is just a nightmare and is hard to get by. She is 27 years lost and in pain, this board was one of the best boards that she and me have found and the continue support is well appreciated and loved. Not for me but for her thank you for comforting her when she needs it. I love her and will always love her even if she decides we are no more. Thank you babe for all your years. Thank you for your caring even through your pain, I love you.... So sorry for the pain I have caused you.

[This message edited by hurtmywife27 at 2:49 PM, April 22nd (Monday)]


WH (me) 59
BS (her) 45
D day 3/7/2013
Married 26 together 28
2 adult sons 25 and 22................................. I Totally screwed up.

Posts: 66 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Toms River NJ
hurtmywife27
♂ 38799
Member # 38799
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can a moderator please change the icon smiley face before the title. I am sad not happy.. Thank you


WH (me) 59
BS (her) 45
D day 3/7/2013
Married 26 together 28
2 adult sons 25 and 22................................. I Totally screwed up.

Posts: 66 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Toms River NJ
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I changed your icon.

Well, you and your wife have certainly been through a lot recently. I'm sorry about all your struggles.


But it's destroying me on what I have done, last night I went into a breakdown and wanted to end it. Not our marriage but me, but that would just put another burden on her. We have been Mutt and Jeff for 28 years. Loosing her is just a nightmare and is hard to get by.
This is the part that resonates loudly on all your posts. I have to say, I understand the despair you are feeling, but your posts (and perhaps your attitude towards her) reek of 'me me me'.

Look outward, look at the big picture, work on letting go of the shame and self pity and focus on the good that you can create by your actions. You have said you are sorry, on SI and I'm sure in person. At this point words mean little, if anything.

Now show her by getting yourself together and doing what you can to start the healing.



Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38660 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 3

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