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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: Two years out and divorcing
hopeandchange
♂ 33287
Member # 33287
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two year anniversary of DDay1 was last week. WW was out of town and I had some time to quietly reflect on the past and present.

My W's A shattered my soul; shredded my inner being.

Post DDay, my W promised to fix everything. She couldn't bring herself to do it. Self protection, closed doors, or something else.

We are divorcing. Her choice. I came out of the post DDay depression last November and began to enjoy life and my W again. Only she was done with the M.

I will lose the daily interaction with my kids. When they come and go, the casual comment, a moment shared.

I will lose the future I thought my W and I would have together. The kids being grown; the time and money available to do what we wanted to do.

I am a different person today, one I could not have imagined. My W, my family has been the center of my world for 20 years. They were all that mattered. Shattered like a dropped mirror.

I cannot see being close to smomeone like I was and could be with the woman I shared 20 years of life.

Life goes on. I believe it can be good.

So two years out. Working on rebuilding my soul. Sitll mouring the loss of my M and what I thought was mine. Struggling to see how the future can bring the happiness that I saw in my past.

h&c


BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
Divorced!
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

Posts: 408 | Registered: Sep 2011
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like you're doing things just right-- you're living life with a cautious mix of optimism and realism while experiencing the necessary mourning it takes to get past the end of a significant relationship.

I hope you're taking care of yourself and doing some things that you enjoy to help you get through this difficult time.

(((hac)))


FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3659 | Registered: Oct 2011
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It took me 2 years after d-day to come to the realization that I needed to D to save myself.

You'll be ok. It takes time.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7866 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
fallingquickly
♀ 36599
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hopeandchange))


Our timing is so similar. My 2 year dd was March 18. It was tough but I think maybe a turning point for me.

I cannot see being close to smomeone like I was and could be with the woman I shared 20 years of life.

Life goes on. I believe it can be good.

So two years out. Working on rebuilding my soul. Sitll mouring the loss of my M and what I thought was mine. Struggling to see how the future can bring the happiness that I saw in my past.

Your whole post sounds very much like what I am going through but these words in particular spoke to me. I'm having such a difficult time letting go of what was supposed to be. I turn 50 soon. Even my mother-in-law says I will find someone and be happy. (although she wants me to stay with WH) But I just don't see trusting so thoroughly again. I need to get the courage to file for divorce and leave the life I have had for the last 33 years (26 married). We live separately so I'm not sure why I can't just make the break.

I wish us both the courage to forge a happy life.

[This message edited by fallingquickly at 1:32 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.


Posts: 455 | Registered: Aug 2012
want a new life
♀ 27286
Member # 27286
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As much as it hurts now you will find peace. Also relief that you have been set free from a one-sided marriage. Much strength to you.


Me BS - 57
D 6/2010
It's been a long journey but I think I'm finally arriving at my happy place:)


Posts: 233 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 5

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