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Divorce/Separation :
Stop spying on me!!

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 confused51 (original poster member #29269) posted at 7:27 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013

Ex sent me an e-mail telling me the blue chairs on my porch look nice. They go well with the front door I painted red. The only why he knows this is to drive bye. I live on a cul-de-sac so and the kids both drive so there is no reason for him to drive bye. Yet a couple of months ago he excused me of driving bye his and skank's house and stalking them. I have never been on their street in my life. He also said if there is any household repairs he could do for me he would be happy to help out.

You had an affair with skank. Left me for skank. Had to be with her. Leave me alone. Also there is no way I would ever let you into this house again. I would pay someone before I would ever let you inside to help me.

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 9th, 2010
id 6307706
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:29 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013

It sounds like he is just trying to get a rise out of you, a reaction. Just ignore it, and him. Don't rise to the baiting.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 6307708
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 7:50 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013

couple the driveby with the offer to help -- sounds like there is trouble in the world of unicorns and rainbows... too bad, so sad.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6307741
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 8:43 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013

He's going fiShInG!!! Don't take the bait!

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6307809
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Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 9:18 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013

Your response can always be, if this pertains to the kids or finances we can talk. If it doesn't, I am busy with other things. Good bye.

posts: 5485   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2005   ·   location: Chicago
id 6307855
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Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 10:37 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013

The fishing sounds right.

My STBXH has accused me of things that it turns out he is actually doing. It baffled me early on but a counselor said its a deflection device they develop to take heat off them.

Maybe your Ex is doing something like that? It becomes an art form.

And depending on your EX, the offer to "help at the house" could either be guilt or a way to have permission to be there and know what you're doing.

I, too, have both of these things and it really aches to ask STBXH any little thing, but they have to be done and he should finish what he started...some thing!

I feel the leave me alone too and ask myself why he should get to work off his guilt? He should deal with what he did, instead.

I wish I had money to pay someone to do the work, as you say, but I have to ask him for the money right now. We have gone without or just left some things broken for long periods of time, though. Usually now its him just doing something if he comes to collect DD and I have to figure out how to stop that.

I admire your strength and am searching for it.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

posts: 3034   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: New England
id 6307919
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 5:01 AM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

HA~ I was outside and XWH drove by. I think he thought I was at work.

Now, instead of directly depositing the ch supp ck, he puts it in the mailbox. I guess so he can have an excuse for being on my road.

I am happy to be strong.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6308291
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