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Ex sent me an e-mail telling me the blue chairs on my porch look nice. They go well with the front door I painted red. The only why he knows this is to drive bye. I live on a cul-de-sac so and the kids both drive so there is no reason for him to drive bye. Yet a couple of months ago he excused me of driving bye his and skank's house and stalking them. I have never been on their street in my life. He also said if there is any household repairs he could do for me he would be happy to help out.

You had an affair with skank. Left me for skank. Had to be with her. Leave me alone. Also there is no way I would ever let you into this house again. I would pay someone before I would ever let you inside to help me.

It sounds like he is just trying to get a rise out of you, a reaction. Just ignore it, and him. Don't rise to the baiting.

couple the driveby with the offer to help -- sounds like there is trouble in the world of unicorns and rainbows... too bad, so sad.

He's going fiShInG!!! Don't take the bait!

Your response can always be, if this pertains to the kids or finances we can talk. If it doesn't, I am busy with other things. Good bye.

The fishing sounds right.

My STBXH has accused me of things that it turns out he is actually doing. It baffled me early on but a counselor said its a deflection device they develop to take heat off them.

Maybe your Ex is doing something like that? It becomes an art form.

And depending on your EX, the offer to "help at the house" could either be guilt or a way to have permission to be there and know what you're doing.

I, too, have both of these things and it really aches to ask STBXH any little thing, but they have to be done and he should finish what he started...some thing!

I feel the leave me alone too and ask myself why he should get to work off his guilt? He should deal with what he did, instead.

I wish I had money to pay someone to do the work, as you say, but I have to ask him for the money right now. We have gone without or just left some things broken for long periods of time, though. Usually now its him just doing something if he comes to collect DD and I have to figure out how to stop that.

I admire your strength and am searching for it.

HA~ I was outside and XWH drove by. I think he thought I was at work.

Now, instead of directly depositing the ch supp ck, he puts it in the mailbox. I guess so he can have an excuse for being on my road.

I am happy to be strong.