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wedding ring???

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torn2pieces posted 4/22/2013 21:18 PM

Hello all...I'm wondering how long you all waited after dday that you put your wedding ring back on. Its been 13 months seems I took it off. At times I'm thinking that I'm getting closer but not exactly there. I always loved my ring but now not so much..... id luv to hear your experiences.

cheerless posted 4/22/2013 21:36 PM

I don't think I can bear to ever put it back on.

When he slipped it on my finger it was supposed to be a symbol of his vows.

He broke all of them so it signifies nothing to me now, since it meant nothing to him.

sadallthetime posted 4/22/2013 21:52 PM

Mine has been off for 2 years and is off FOREVER! I am getting ready to sell it. If and when FWH and I renew our vows we will both get new ones (he doesn't wear his either) and mine better be a big fricking diamond - at least 2 cts. and in a perfect in a drop dead setting - enough said)

CLRhope4her posted 4/22/2013 22:56 PM

I haven't worn mine in about 6 months. And truly I don't ever want to again. That marriage is dead in my eyes. With new promises, new boundaries, new lessons, in my opinion should come with a new symbol. My WH doesn't agree so it looks like I will never wear one again. Shame really-it was my grandmothers and I LOVED that ring.

27yearsnowlost posted 4/23/2013 08:21 AM

Im 7 weeks from d dat and can't even look at mine. My WH still wears his but not in the house or around me because I told him it means nothing to me. He said he needs to wear it because it gives him hope that one day we can r.

TXBW68 posted 4/23/2013 08:56 AM

I can't wear my original rings. They don't mean anything to me anymore. I have both of mine and his in a baggy in my sock drawer.

Once we got back together, HE insisted that we get new rings when I said I couldn't wear the old ones. So, for Valentine's Day this year, we bought new rings. My new ring is a big 3-stone anniversary ring. Much nicer than the little 1/4 ct solitaire we could afford straight out of college.

My new ring looks more like an engagement ring so he wants me to have a true wedding band for my birthday in May. I gave him 3 options - all with diamonds instead of a plain band.

He says he wears his new ring proudly as a symbol of the second chance I have given him.

I wear mine as a symbol of our "new" marriage too. But somewhere in the back of my head, I know that it's expensive enough to sell and pay the lawyer's retainer fee if he ever screws up again!

jellybean22 posted 4/23/2013 08:56 AM

I started wearing mine again when we committed to work on our marriage.

SoVerySadNow posted 4/23/2013 10:01 AM

I don't wear mine. I mangled it beyond repair anyway. It still feels good that I did that.

HardenMyHeart posted 4/23/2013 10:21 AM

I waited about 2 months after d-day. To me, the ring symbolizes the strength of my marriage. That my marriage is strong enough to survive the struggles we have gone through together.

We both made vows on our wedding day. One of those vows was for better or worse. I now have a better understanding of what "worse" can mean in a marriage. Although my fWW broke her vows, mine are still intact; and so is the ring. The ring represents the "entire" marriage, not just one painful event.

libertyrocks posted 4/23/2013 10:22 AM

I took it off for a week. WH asking me why I didn't wear it, so I put it back on. It's beautiful but demeaning to me. I want to sell it. I keep wearing it to work because I don't want everyone to know we have problems. I want to buy myself a new one because I don't want to look at it anymore.

TICKED OFF posted 4/23/2013 10:41 AM

9 years ago post a I had the diamond from my wedding ring turned into a pendant which I have only worn once. I then bought a new 2 1/2 ct diamond ring. It is a beautiful ring but even then I hardly ever wear that.

To me it doesn't matter how new, big, or pretty it doesn't stand for what it was supposed to have stood for so I simply have no desire to wear it. H however never takes his off which is his choice.

ms521 posted 4/23/2013 10:43 AM

I started wearing mine again when we committed to work on our marriage.

Ditto that. To me, the expectation of fidelity came when I entered into an exclusive relationship with WH. That was LONG before engagements and rings and wedding vows. The wedding/marriage part is where we stood up and promised to do whatever the hell it took to keep marriage together. I never stood next to WH on my wedding day and thought for one split second I would cheat. Nor did he. -We simply took it for granted that it wouldn't happen to us. But it did. Sadly, this is part of our story, but our book isn't closed.

The greater part of why we got married was to commit to being together no matter what life threw at us. Yes, fidelity was part of that assumption, but so was the idea that we would fight for our relationship no matter what. And that's what we're doing now. My wedding band is still on because I am still married and we are still fighting for our marriage. I can EASILY see where someone might look at their ring and feel like it's been contaminated, but for me, I'm choosing to look at mine as a symbol of our relationship - the good AND the bad - all of it together that will hopefully have us exchanging secret smiles and high-fives at some crazy 60th anniversary party down the road. I want to be able to look at that man and say "we did it."

That said... should WH ever want to buy me another bauble for another finger simply because he loves me now more than ever, despite all our screwups... that would be acceptable too.

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