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It's the knowing, yet not knowing that kills me

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Foolme1 posted 4/22/2013 21:48 PM

I haven't found hard proof yet. I found a number. His text log the past 7 days show 4 texts to me, 3 pages of texts to this one number. My cousin called it. No answer, no vm. So she texted it. They told her she had the wrong number and wouldn't tell her their name. So that got me nowhere.

Tonight is day two that he's MIA. And here I am, actually trying to find the nerve to kick him out. How stupid am I that I actually have to THINK about this? Our dd cries for daddy when he's not home. He's a pathetic piece of shit. I hate him. I hate my life. And I hate that I'm this pathetic woman who can't make him leave. I don't need him. I support myself and my dd just fine without him.

I fucking hate him. I know there's another email out there that I don't know about. I have no clue how to find it.

I just wish hed disappear. Go away.

Jrazz posted 4/22/2013 22:07 PM

I'm so sorry... that is a hard place to be in.

Just a thought - people in an Affair are usually paranoid throughout the entire thing that they're going to get caught. If the AP is suddenly getting "Who is this?" calls and texts, rest assured she's told your WS who is now making up new lies and excuses, and will try to drive this deeper underground.

On the one hand, you want to guard your sources, on the other hand, 3 pages of texts is pretty much a closed book.

Remember, just because he hasn't confessed doesn't mean he's not busted. The ball is in your court as to what you want to do, not his.


isadora posted 4/23/2013 05:23 AM

Just take one step at a time. I know in my sitch taking that first step was the hardest. But once I did it got easier and I felt more confident with each step.

Why not start hefty bagging his stuff? It might give you the strength to take the next step.

noprincess posted 4/23/2013 07:09 AM


So sorry you are here.

I've got to back up what Jrazz said, just because you don't have proof doesn't mean he's not busted. Keep digging.

Have you searched for the number on FB? If that's a dead-end pay for a service to do a reverse cell look-up if you must, they really don't cost much compared to your peace of mind.

Also, your profile doesn't say if you're married or not but a spouse going MIA for days is abandonment and you should contact a lawyer ASAP, if that's the case.

I know this is a brutal time you're living in right now. You will get through this. Keep your focus on yourself and your DD. You don't have to make any major decisions at the moment but you will have to keep your wits about you and stay sharp in the coming days because your partner is pulling some major shit!

Sending strength and hugs (((Foolme1))).

Skan posted 4/23/2013 14:13 PM

Foolme1, please remember. You don't have to have enough evidence for a jury conviction. You only have to have enough evidence and knowledge so that YOU are comfortable making the decision. And frankly, being MIA for two days would do it for me. The locks would be changed and his wardrobe in trashbags waiting for him on the sidewalk. You can decided any time to disappear him and tell him to not bother coming back. He doesn't make that decision, you do. (((hugs)))

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