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Newest Member: lostsoul8008 (61557)

User Topic: I thought I was doing well
♀ 9280
Member # 9280
Default  Posted: 2:07 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has taken me a VERY long time to come to terms with my marriage breakdown and accept my new life post divorce. I thought I was doing well, especially after I finally was able to go total NC with XH in February> ( I am a slow learner) Anyway he called me yesterday to tell me he has a girlfriend and he wanted me to know before I found out from someone else. This news has knocked me sideways and I feel like DDay all over again. It was also the way he did it by making a bunch of small talk feigning interest in what I was up to etc...and when I asked why he was calling he dropped the bomb. I posted over in general but hope to get some support and hugs here in NB. I feel like there is something wrong with me that this person still takes up my head space.

me: FBW
D-Day May 2005
divorced December 2009

Posts: 173 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: UK
♀ 32309
Member # 32309
Default  Posted: 3:02 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


This is a horrid feeling. I am R in my second marriage, but I remember vividly the feelings when my ex husband of many moons ago first brought a girlfriend round to my house to collect my children.

It matters not the reasons, why's and wherefor's when this happens, it is simply the feeling that that part of our lives is well and truly gone, and that our ex has moved on while we are still taking time to repair our damaged ego's.

My ex husband was never unfaithful to me and the reasons for the marital breakdown were nothing to do with infidelity, but I felt the same way you do now, even though I divorced him because he was a total w****r!

It is the feeling that we are no longer worth anything if they can move on so quickly that makes us feel that way isn't it?

Well let me tell you, you ARE worth so much more than a shitty marriage sweetie, and this will pass, trust me. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with what you are feeling and nothing wrong with YOU!

It's a glorious day. Go out and have a coffee somewhere nice in the sunshine and take the time to enjoy this lovely day. You deserve it!

Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: UK
♀ 9280
Member # 9280
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Diva. Yes it is the fact that the marriage is truly gone, over and dead. It feels like the true mourning of the marriage. I will take the time to process this like I have all that has gone down in the last years and move forward. Grief is a strange thing. Sometimes it just grabs you out of nowhere and sucks you up.

me: FBW
D-Day May 2005
divorced December 2009

Posts: 173 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: UK
♀ 37946
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((fadedrainbow))) I'm so sorry. It just sucks, but you are gonna be ok. Just focus on you and your healing.

Me (BS)- 36
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
Topic Posts: 4

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