DD5 was telling me about her recent IC session. She was very excited about the toys she got to play with and explained to me how she put the mummy doll in one house with her and DD2.5 in it and the daddy doll in another house with both girls having turns being in both houses.
She then says: "Mummy, I told her that you shout at me sometimes. Are you angry?".
I said of course I'm not angry - it is the truth. Mummy does shout sometimes. I would never be upset at you for telling the truth.
THEN she says:
"I didn't tell her that daddy yells because he would be very angry".
I told her that it is never wrong to tell the truth even if it makes someone angry. If daddy gets angry about her telling the truth then that is daddy's problem. He needs to learn to not do the thing that gets him into trouble.
During a phone call the other night he told her off for saying something to me and told her to stop lying. I didn't catch what she said but I know she wasn't lying because she immediately got upset and said "I'm not lying!". She does that when she is telling the truth.
She told me last night that he told her she would get him into trouble by telling me these things.
I told her if he does get into trouble for doing something it is because HE did it. Not because SHE tells someone.
I need to discuss this with her IC. I don't know what to do here. I told her she will NEVER get into trouble by me for telling the truth. Ever. I can't assure that from her POS father.
This makes me so mad and sad. Not only is he teaching her to lie, he is teaching her that truth is bad, he is also teaching her that any consequences for his or others' actions are her fault.
My mind immediately goes to horrible places - what if someone does something to her and she won't tell for fear of making them angry,
I don't know if it was the recent phone call that has made her form this view of him or if he pulls this shit all of the time.
I hate it that he is manipulating her. I hate it that his compulsion to protect his false image is so much stronger than his compulsion to protect his child. At the very least I expect that he would try to NOT cause her harm. Surely he has an inkling of how damaging this is.
My feelings here won't help my little girl so I will put them aside and focus on her and us navigating through this bullshit...
I loathe him. I really do.