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I feel in limbo

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amiready posted 4/23/2013 10:41 AM

I am posting this both in this Reconciliation forum as well as the Divorce/Separation as I am hoping for support from either side. As the title states, I am in limbo and feel like as I get closer to a year of Dday, I feel clearer and clearer of how I want to live the rest of my life. My WH has been the model of father and husband since I agreed to try and make it work. At the beginning I was elated and just wanted to move on. As the smoke has cleared, I have been feeling more and more that I may not be able to stay married to him. I have been thinking about whether this whole A is my dealbreaker for my marriage. I have always been a forgiving person (some would call a doormat at times), I try to work things out for the sake of peace and everyone else's happiness. This time, though, I feel so many terrible emotions and the deepest betrayal that I just don't know if I can get any type of marriage relationship back with him. I have been struggling with these feelings for about a month and they seem to be getting stronger. I also feel like although he is being there, being attentive, making changes on the outside. He is still not following through on things that MC has suggested (ie talking to my parents/his parents (they were there when I found out about his actions), and other things that would make me feel like I can move on from the hurt. He says he will do it in MC but doesn't take the initiative outside... He said to me the other day, "i feel like sometimes you just want me to be miserable"... and thats exactly how i don't want him or me to feel...
I would appreciate any feedback, we go back to MC next week and I am nervous about saying something about how I don't think its working and regretting my words...
Has anyone gone through this, is there any way to clarify whether these things that I am going through are normal in R or are they more pointing towards D??? Thank you

jo2love posted 4/23/2013 12:24 PM

Please use existing thread.

Thank you.

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