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Newest Member: ChrissyMc (61787)

User Topic: Coming out of a scary slump
Helen of Troy
♀ 26419
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Huge life stressors with my kids, my academic studies (to perhaps eventually get a job that pays more than would qualify for Earned Income Credit! Why the fuck did I choose something that is so challenging? some days I wonder) and few coworkers who don't know *why* I have approved FMLA and quite jealous of my half days "off".
Add not healthy eating like usually do, not exercising like usual due to having to keep watch on someone fresh out of residential treatment, deal with a jealous sibling acting out because the other is getting all the attention, and study every day, including sunny weekends when not transporting one to and from aftercare. The weekends where people go get to do fun things, I'm studying and keeping watch and trying to keep the minimum standards of cleanliness and stick to the aftercare plan which includes a lot of planning and preparation EVERYDAY. There are things that I have no control over and that there is no one to help me with as there is in 2 parent families. X continues to criticize yet won't step up to assist during this stressful parenting time! He's like the person who is supposed to help with a task, and makes excuses why he "can't" then criticizes how it's done even though he is not physically present to even witness how things are being done. (my revenge fantasies ran rampant again) Oh add an ongoing court battle over $ where it feels like atty is just dragging this on to bleed me dry and it will never ever end. Add a heavy dose of PMS. I felt like I was going to go insane.

The good news is it feels like it's lifting. So my public service announcement is that if you ever feel like you cannot go on one more minute, just hang in there. Use anything from your "toolbox" that you've learned, ask for advice, read self help, etc. You don't know how strong you can be until you have to be because it's your only choice. You can't or won't share details with people not because it's secret but because it's private. Just hang on, even if just a few minutes at a time, few hours at a time or one day at a time.

Posts: 4809 | Registered: Dec 2009
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you!

I totally need to hear this today.


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09

Posts: 21377 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
♀ 20849
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((will get by))) I'm sorry about all your stressors! That sounds so overwhelming, but I am glad that things are lifting for you.

Great advise about hanging in there....sometimes that is all we can do for a while but we need to keep the faith.

Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 16236 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
♀ 37946
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you! You are one tough cookie!

Me (BS)- 36
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So glad to hear you are coming out of your slump! Better days ahaead!!

Me - BW
2 DDs

Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.

Posts: 4051 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy for you . I can remember days when it felt like things were so bad I couldn't breathe. Now, for the life of me, I can't remember the problems.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs, And Welcome back..


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YaY!!! This is great news!!! So glad for the lifting. Your toolbox is deep and your heart is great.

Me: 45, independent, happy, despite parallel parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 15 DS 12
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 7052 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Topic Posts: 8

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