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I punched him in the face! I was so mad. Next day, I felt horrible and thought I should NEVER EVER lay my hands on another human being, even if I am a 100 pound little lady and he a 6 foot tall man. I almost threw up, I felt so bad. How could I do that. Especially, knowing his father used to hit him. He sat there shocked. It was so sad. I feel like a POS. I apologized and vowed to never put my hands on him again. These A's are bringing out the worst in me! Help.

Get. Counseling. Now.

Your right, you should not have done this. Have you gotten into IC for yourself yet?

Ditto TG. I'm not judging you; I did the same thing myself. Swore I would never do it again. But then I did. And it was worse than the first time. You need help figuring out why you did this and how to keep it from happening in the future.

It's horrible,the rage you feel,isn't it?

You need to find another way to release your anger. Join a gym. Buy a punching bag. Take up running.

Don't ever hit him again. Not only because it's not ok..but he can call the cops and have you arrested...and you would go to jail.

An affair is abusive. Physically, mentally,and emotionally. Bringing more abuse into the situation will only make it worse.

[This message edited by confused615 at 12:19 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]

I know, everyone. Thanks for listening. I'm going to IC tomorrow. Worst part is, that domestic violence is my dealbreaker. I'm such a horrible person right now...
I don't want to feel that way ever again and needless to say I do not want to go to jail or have my kids taken from me. I think it might have been a control thing at that very moment. I kept telling him to tell me the truth.

I want a motorcycle! jk. that's dumb, what if I die. Ok, I could take up kickboxing instead.

You did a horrible thing, difference.

Your right, you don't want legal ramifications. So let this show you what this is doing to you emotionally, and figure out if you can afford to stay in this situation. Maybe this was a dealbreaker for you. If it is going to affect you in such a way that this happens then you need to take a close hard look at what you can take.

Get into counseling and start working on you, if your H is working on him then let that happen and step away from the M a bit. Cool off.