"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

twiceburned posted 4/23/2013 21:33 PM

Did I write that or just think it? Ugh to my ex. I am one week out from new beginnings. He has not done a thing to sell our home. The last conversations have been filled with four letter F bombs from him. I blocked him from my phone.

Here is the question..... How did each of you release the bitterness and go forward to new beginnings......? So close here, yet so far. I need help........

Kajem posted 4/23/2013 21:37 PM

Nerf bat meet tree.

Fist meet punching bag

Foot meet punching bag.

Releases a lot of anger and bitterness.. kept me calm (not cool, I live in florida afterall) And collected.

It also made me tired so I was able to sleep.

Hugs,

K

Survivor3512 posted 4/23/2013 22:00 PM

(((Twiceburned)))

Lol, kajem!

I walk a lot. It helps to clear my head. I am also in IC and she helps me work through my emotions. And, I am pretty spiritual. I pray for God to help me forgive, let go, and move on. But mostly, I am just determined that his stupid choices will NOT dictate my future happiness. I will not let it change me into something bitter or resentful. I am choosing my attitude and not giving him that power over me.

I'd try different things and see what works/doesn't for you. Good luck!

Sad in AZ posted 4/23/2013 22:14 PM

I had to get very, very angry at him. Like, hold-my-earrings-and-give-me-a-baseball-bat angry. That was the magic ticket to indifference--and that's what you need to strive for. Blissful indifference.

gma56 posted 4/24/2013 01:13 AM

I had to get very, very angry at him

My motto was during that time was: How dare him fuck with my head, heart and wellbeing.He has no right.

It's a long road to indifference,not one us of will say it's easy but it is so freeing when you do !!!!!
Hugs
Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 1:14 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)]

I.will.survive posted 4/24/2013 05:39 AM

I've been divorced for a month and separated 1.5 years and he STILL gets to me.

I try my best to realize all the BS is about him and how HE isn't happy and is just projecting onto me.

After the initial frustration or tears or whatever is happening on my end, I end up feeling sad and then pissed off I let him get to me AGAIN, but ultimately I'm able to let it go because I know this is just a pity party on his narcissistic part. When something doesn't go his way, I get yelled at.

BUT...I'm not bitter, I'm very close to indifferent. It's just that I do have feelings and he knows just how to hurt them.

omgnome posted 4/24/2013 09:17 AM

*Putting my edit at the front, I didn't really answer the question sorry*

One of my way to relieve bitterness/frustration is to just try and disconnect. To focus on what I can change and do that. I try to limit my contact with things that frustrate or anger me. It's a bit of avoidance, but it usually works for me.

I'm not quite into a new beginning yet but I've always found physical labor helps to burn off aggression. You can't really do contact sports like I use (I once had an opponent tell me that I would do better if I tried to run around him not through him. Trying to run through him helps to burn off more frustration/aggression). But working in the yard, working around the house they really help. Get your body active, tire it out, it releases all those good hormones/chemicals and makes you feel better.

[This message edited by omgnome at 9:18 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)]

permanentpain posted 4/24/2013 12:07 PM

I've been working out like crazy. The angrier I get the better the workout, and the better I look and feel. So fuck my ex, he did me a favor. Everytime he gets me going I go on a run, P90X, zumba, samba, swimming, u name it. Then I feel calm and super happy when I shop for new clothes

callmecrazy posted 4/24/2013 13:06 PM

This link is a to a song "Screw You", but I think you will enjoy the chorus do to your heading...This is my weight lifing song, working out is my outlet...I belt the chorus out in my car.." I loved you so much, but you never gave a f***, so SCREW YOU" Hope you enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS-GMRExgSU