In a nutshell...I was probably the MOST understanding wife in the entire universe. I was patient when he lost job after job, bending over backwards to make him feel better. I was supportive as he pursued degree after degree even though it meant all the home jobs and childcare fell to me for yet another 30 credits. I was understanding when he "forgot" to call, to do the chores I was counting on, forgot to pay the bills, and was caught in the first, second and third EAs (much later to be discovered to be PAs I wasn't so understanding then) I was even understanding initially when I suspected strip clubs, and tried to express my concern in a non-threatening way. Of course, part of my understanding was a result of his grooming of me. I quickly learned that he raged if I expressed legitimate anger. So I stuffed that baby.
I am no longer understanding. I am, in fact, a bit of a b*tch. I am impatient much of the time. I take NO BS. I am not intentionally mean, and I do have a filter, but if it needs to be said, I say it.
So, to the point. I came home after an EXTREMELY stressful day to find my house damaged by a careless accident involving SAfWH and a boat. Now, his boat is a major trigger to me, ie "I'm going up to the boat" being code for "I'm going to a strip club/see an OW/try to pick up someone new" So I am WAY over this hobby that I used to support whole heartedly.
But I am apparently supposed to be "understanding" about this major damage to the house. I just couldn't do it. Even after he fell off the ladder twice in an attempt to make temporary repair, I was just pissed off. This is going to cost major money.
The cherry on the top? In one of our discussions, he commented that if I had done something like that, it WAS an accident after all, HE would be going out of his way to comfort me, to make me feel better, because he certainly didn't mean to do it, but "that's the difference between me and you." At that point, he was lucky to have eyeballs.
So, what do you think? Am I being too harsh? I just cannot feel supportive here, and I may just burn the boats.
PS We have 4 boats now, down from 7.
PPS I wasn't a bit surprised that they found the bomber in a fricking boat. They are ALL bad news.