That was interesting reading - I could see both my marriage there and my new relationship.
In the article, the author says she
spent so much time comparing what was to what I thought it should be that, not only could I never appreciate the ways that my husband was giving to me, I could never trust the ways that my marriage truly worked.
. I did the opposite and convinced myself that he was being good to me when he truly wasn't. He would insult me to others, make fun of me around friends and family and just generally make sure I knew he was a few notches above me in all things. I kept convincing myself that he wasn't purposely doing these things, I just wasn't seeing them right.
Because of my messed up thinking, I find this happens with SO
...the smallest encounters between my husband and I become triggers, confirming my doubts about him and fueling my sense of entitlement about how I should be loved.
I forget that SO thinks of us as a team and is so happy to have me as his partner. I try very hard to not carry the baggage from my marriage into this relationship but once in awhile it happens. I sometimes forget that it isn't all weeds this time around.