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Think we have a good'un

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Fidelia posted 4/24/2013 02:20 AM

We went to MC last night. I'm not gonig to share all, but a couple of things happened that put my mind at ease about our new MC.

Some of you may have read my thread a week or so ago, worrying about something she'd said about in many cases an A is a sign that something is wrong in the marriage. So I raised it with her and explained where my thinking was and that I needed her to be with me on that:

That there were problems in our marriage but they did not cause the affair. That the A happened because of WH poor coping mechanisms and FOO issues that he brought to the marriage and that I was in the marriage and did not have an A. That I needed her to understand that I could not live in a marriage where I was scared that if I wasn't the perfect wife, if we didn't have the perfect M, then he would cheat - because that is unhealthy and mentally/emotionally abusive. That I needed to feel safe in our M.

She agreed and validated it all!

Also later on in the session, she brought up that I had suffered trauma because of the A and because of the way WH handled TT over the four months after DDay1.

And she has a very gentle way with her, as well as repeating back/paraphrasing what we've each said so that we feel heard.

I think we found a good'un

catlover50 posted 4/24/2013 02:22 AM

Good for you--that's so important!

authenticnow posted 4/24/2013 05:17 AM

Awesome! That is so key .

jjsr posted 4/24/2013 08:43 AM

A good MC can make all the difference

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