Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Alleycats (61167)

User Topic: Think we have a good'un
♀ 38345
Member # 38345
Default  Posted: 2:20 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We went to MC last night. I'm not gonig to share all, but a couple of things happened that put my mind at ease about our new MC.

Some of you may have read my thread a week or so ago, worrying about something she'd said about in many cases an A is a sign that something is wrong in the marriage. So I raised it with her and explained where my thinking was and that I needed her to be with me on that:

That there were problems in our marriage but they did not cause the affair. That the A happened because of WH poor coping mechanisms and FOO issues that he brought to the marriage and that I was in the marriage and did not have an A. That I needed her to understand that I could not live in a marriage where I was scared that if I wasn't the perfect wife, if we didn't have the perfect M, then he would cheat - because that is unhealthy and mentally/emotionally abusive. That I needed to feel safe in our M.

She agreed and validated it all!

Also later on in the session, she brought up that I had suffered trauma because of the A and because of the way WH handled TT over the four months after DDay1.

And she has a very gentle way with her, as well as repeating back/paraphrasing what we've each said so that we feel heard.

I think we found a good'un

Me: BW 36
Him: WH 36 (randomusername)

"lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb12v13

"Oh God give me

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2013
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 2:22 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you--that's so important!

Dday -9/23/2012

Posts: 2309 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:17 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome! That is so key .

"If you want to know who your tribe is, speak your truth, then see who sticks around. Those are the people who get a spot in your blanket fort." -Nanea Hoffman

Posts: 55101 | Registered: Sep 2007
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A good MC can make all the difference

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

Posts: 1849 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.