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day 7, false hope?

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Omahahurt posted 4/24/2013 07:18 AM

I found out last wed. I can't help thinking I went to the gym a week ago thinking I had a bus and, family and a life to come home to. Today I was at the gym thinking of where life will take me next, wondering about the details of the other woman, and everything continues on. In my heart of hearts I want him to tell me he made a huge mistake and wants to start over. I am afraid that if that doesn't happen I will be crushed. I miss my best friend. I try not to text him the little things throughout the day, but still do sometimes. I guess I take a little comfort in that he responds back and that may piss her off. On the outside I appear ok. I am worried that I am holding onto false hope.

TrustGone posted 4/24/2013 07:27 AM

Sweetie, You are not holding on to false hope. It has only been a week since DDay. You still don't know what the future holds for you. Just take it easy for a while. There is no set timeline that you have to follow. Just take it one day at a time and slowly. Do not make any rash decisions.

Sometimes the WS comes out of the fog and realizes what they have done to you and their children. The fairytale has come to a halt for them at this time. Now they have to face the consequences for their choices. Sometimes they never come out of their broken thinking. Only time will tell.

The only thing you can do for now is take care of yourself and your children. Try not to concentrate too much on the WS. They are broken and you will never figure out why they did what they did. Hell, they probably don't even know themselves at this point. Hand in there. (((HUGS)))

Skan posted 4/24/2013 14:07 PM

At 1 week, I was barely coherent. All I could do was walk. I walked for miles. I must have looked like a crazy woman because I'd walk as fast as I could, tears streaming down my face. I didn't know weither to hope that it all worked out, hope that we divorced, or hope that a car hit either of us. I didn't actually HAVE hope! So please, what you're feeling is normal and natural for where you're at. Be gentle to yourself. (((hugs)))

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 4/24/2013 14:24 PM

I think you are doing well as you are still able to go to the gym and function on a daily basis.

I think it's natural to have that hope. I have had it before even when I didn't want it. I even have it now, but for me it's dangerous as he is a disgusting POS!

From my experience though, NC is the best way to go in this situation especially as he is with her. By contacting him, he knows you are still around waiting for him to come back, and I think if he does, he will take longer to do so if he knows you are waiting for him. It will also stop you from healing yourself from what has happened to you. Give yourself some space and time. Not only will it make you feel better, it may wake him up to what he is actually losing.

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