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to send or not to send???

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FlySomeday posted 4/24/2013 11:28 AM

You consistently make reference to co-parenting. Please do not sing your intentions of co-parenting with me via email. It is parallel parenting at best. Co-parenting is reserved for those who have respect for their STBX spouses, refrain from malicious efforts of destruction, and can show common courtesy. You embody none of the above. In regards to your pleas for me to ‘get over it’, I’d like to understand what you mean by “it”. If you are referring to the lying and deceit involved in the adulterous affair you had with XXXX, then I can assure you, I am indeed, “over it”. If you are referring to the lies and deceit which surround the finances of our separation and lives, the false accusations you made about my intentions as a parent, stability, and mental capacities, the continued attempts of sabotage (i.e. entering my private email and deleting the entire account), your insistence on having a circus trial when mediation was offered to you several times, then I can honestly respond, “I’m working on it”. Why you chose to file for custody, go to trial, and make the preposterous claims as you did is beyond me. That one short sighted decision on your part has impacted our children’s lives, mine aside, in an enormous way not only financially but emotionally as well. If you didn’t realize it then, I hope you do now. Moving forward , I certainly will continue to work to minimize the impact of our divorce on our children’s lives. I will certainly be more definitive in the future regarding planning concerns and give you as much notice as possible. However, last minute things do come up in life. How you coordinate your transportation , commuting, accommodations, and leave with XXXXX is your challenge, not a concern of mine. I hope that you will be able to balance opportunities that present themselves with your transportation/leave issues for the children’s sake.
Futhermore, I certainly understand if you can’t help with last minute changes to Dr. appointments because of work commitments or carpool commitments but thought it couldn’t hurt to ask. When I rescheduled DD and DS's appointment I did so without knowing that it would be an early dismissal day and therefore conflict with you picking the kids up.

Finally, you and I both made the mistake of underestimating my strength and perseverance. I will promise to you; I will never make that mistake again.
--Fly

ChoosingHope posted 4/24/2013 11:59 AM

If you are referring to the lies and deceit which surround the finances of our separation and lives, the false accusations you made about my intentions as a parent, stability, and mental capacities, the continued attempts of sabotage (i.e. entering my private email and deleting the entire account), your insistence on having a circus trial when mediation was offered to you several times, then I can honestly respond, “I’m working on it”. Why you chose to file for custody, go to trial, and make the preposterous claims as you did is beyond me. That one short sighted decision on your part has impacted our children’s lives, mine aside, in an enormous way not only financially but emotionally as well.

Fly, good job summing up so much in so few words.

Finally, you and I both made the mistake of underestimating my strength and perseverance. I will promise to you; I will never make that mistake again.

Bravo, Fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tabitha95 posted 4/24/2013 12:08 PM

I wouldn't send. It will fall on deaf ears.

Use it more as a journaling exercise.

ChoosingHope posted 4/24/2013 13:43 PM

Fly, I meant to add that I LOVE it, it's your truth (and mine too). But I wouldn't send it. Especially right now.

-Hope

Ann124 posted 4/24/2013 14:17 PM

Great email, concise and very to the point. I can understand how you would want to send it but I agree that it would "fall on deaf ears."

Best just to vent and document...

FlySomeday posted 4/24/2013 20:01 PM

humpf... I knew you all would say 'don't send' just was hoping for something different. Just want him to know, I'm over his dumb ass but the other stuff....

phmh posted 4/24/2013 20:28 PM

Actions speak louder than words.

By sending him this, even if you SAY you don't care, you are showing him that you do care. Because if you didn't care, you wouldn't send it.

Live your life. The best revenge is a life well-lived. Do it for yourself. Let him truly become an afterthought.

SBB posted 4/25/2013 06:07 AM

I'm with the others - especially what phmh said.

Don't send.

What helps me (most of the time) is visualising ego kibbles to him for any contact. Don't do it. a) it won't get through his thick skull; and b) it makes him seem important. He is irrelevant, continue to treat him as such.

Now that's out of the way.....what a kick arse letter!! Bravo!!

ruinedandbroken posted 4/25/2013 21:18 PM

It's a great letter, but I think it's probably best not to send it. It will make him feel self important.

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