Sorry to hear about your terrible time. No wonder you are struggling and shell shocked. Hubby is busy with his IC and working towards R, while you have been run over by a bus.
Sounds like he is calling all the shots. HE saw a lawyer, HE took it upon himself to take money out of your account with the intent to move out and then HE changed his mind and decided he wanted to R. Sounds like it is time for you to take back some of the power in your own life.
I don't have the answers, except give yourself some time to make major decisions. From where I stand (mind you I am in an anger phase ) he needs to do some major ass kicking to convince you to stay with his sorry ass.Newly single and trying to find my feet.
There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.