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Stories don't add up. What do you think.?

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eyesrnowopen posted 4/24/2013 23:55 PM

1st DD:Husbandís text messages are inaporpriate Looking at the bills, they text almost every day for the past 8 months. There are also calls and texts when we are on vacation and on NYE right after midnight. He claims that he liked the attention and it was the flattery of being paid attention to. He admits to going to work events and happy hours and golf outings with this person. He states they were all business and with many other people from work. He admits he liked hanging out with her because she was fun and she paid him a lot of attention. He says no PA.
2ndDD: I download his iPhone SIM card and as him to come clean. More story-- He took this person to a conference in another city. He told me that nothing happened and they stayed in different rooms. He took her there because she was fun and he enjoyed her company.

Story #3: Later that night, he adds to the story that another women also went. Iím confused, why didnít you tell me about her before now? He says, I thought you would be upset with me bringing two women to the conference. Iím still confused, and say ďno, I feel better that there was another person and not just you and her. So I see this as a good sign that she brought someone else along.

Story # 4: He tells me more: The next morning, he says he wants to be completely honest and he confesses that he also pursued the other women who went to the conference. He stated that she is younger, 30 and married. I remember her from the Xmas party. She is very young and attractive (later I find out she is 27 and not married). He told me he started out just talking to her. He enjoyed the attention of a young pretty woman. (Sheís a girl and youíre her boss dumb ass! What is wrong with you?? He is the head of the company and she works for him. I find out later, he promoted her twice within six months.) I canít believe what I am hearing. He proceeds to tell me that he was only talking to her and took her out to events and golf outing and happy hours. There was only one night he was alone with hr He knew she would be coming by our house, so he invited her over when I was out of town. He said, it was awkward and nothing happened and she and he both felt uncomfortable and she stayed for one drink and left. Total 20 min. He says she is a good girl and would not do that. He also thought it was wrong. That did it! GOOD GIRL! Iím sorry, but good girls do not go to their bosses houses when their wives are not home. He denies sleeping with her either at our house or at the conference. He states all other times they were together with other people from work. He says that he liked being seen with her and enjoyed her company but nothing happened. He did not have a PA or did he ever speak about sex or do anything inappropriate. (What?? Asking her to our house is not inappropriate??) He says she and he do not talk anymore and she works at another division of the company now. ( I later suspect she dumped him). I ask why he now gets text messages from the other one. He says, she just started doing this to him. (she was the other ones boss now he is with her? So confused). Wouldn't you gradualy try to do it at our house. [A bold move to make this the first place.

Story #5: I look at the text messages, there is really nothing there. I donít tell him this and pretend I saw bad text messages. I ask is there anything else you want to tell me? He comes clean about women #3. He met #3 at a bar on. He ran into her a year after meeting her and invited her to meet him at a conference that was in a nearby town. He states this woman drove several hours to meet him; they had dinner and drinks, went back to his hotel room and were making out. They were down to their underwear and she gets an epiphany and states, ďI want to go home, you have responsibilities and I donít want to have sex with youĒ. LOL I canít believe she drove two hours and then has dinner and drinks and in the throws of passion stops.

[This message edited by eyesrnowopen at 12:01 AM, April 25th (Thursday)]

Nature_Girl posted 4/25/2013 00:03 AM

Yeah, I'm not feeling his story, either. Maybe he could try again? Perhaps if he keeps revising & editing the truth, maybe he can hit on a script that he can sell with a straight face and is believable.

I'm so sorry. (((HUGS)))

sadtoo posted 4/25/2013 00:09 AM

I agree. Total complete BS (bullshit)

Betrayed67 posted 4/25/2013 02:42 AM

Sorry, but I don't believe him. Judge Judy says, if the story doesn't make sense, it's baloney and a big LIE.

Sorry, but my WH did a lot of lying, and cornered him many times with contradictions in the confessions (supposedly truth).

You deserve the truth. Tell him that.

stupidgirlme posted 4/25/2013 04:41 AM

Nope, I don't believe any of the stories either. What really bothers me, though, is that he's her boss. Screams sexual harrassment lawsuit to me!

So sorry for you!

eyesrnowopen posted 4/25/2013 05:47 AM

I know his stories don't add up. God why can't I just move on? Thank you all.

ninebark posted 4/25/2013 06:16 AM

In the beginning WS' always always change their stories so they don't sound as bad. It is like asking a little kid if they did something wrong, they will always tell you a story that doesn't sound so bad so they don't get grounded.

It is unlikely that he took these women on trips with him or to meet him in his hotel room and nothing happened.

He figures he gets off easier if he gives you the PG version "see honey, we just met for drinks, she changed her mind."

My response is how is this better, the first one is a good girl and the second didn't want to do it. Isn't is supposed to be him who is the good guy and not want to do it? Either way his story smells bad.

[This message edited by ninebark at 6:16 AM, April 25th (Thursday)]

CrappyLife posted 4/25/2013 07:02 AM

Well. He is lying and minimising things for sure. None of his stories make sense except in his own big fat head I suppose. I also got a lot of shit stories from WW after D-Day.

"I do not know how it happened, but we were naked within 10 minutes." Well, it turns out they had been talking for a few weeks about this meeting and passions were running high. You dont get naked with someone for the first time in 10 minutes without anything prior to that and then proceed to give the POS1 a BJ. .

"Both of us were just naked. We did not have sex." What a load of crap! She was naked twice and also drunk and yea had sex. Look for signs of lying. She told me this line even before I asked whether she had sex with POS1. I knew at that moment that she did.

If I was the boss (does not matter whether I am married or not) I would not have promoted a good-looking girl twice in 6 months unless she was sleeping with me.

A new WS thinks the BS does not have a brain and will buy the stories they dole out and they can continue lying. The lying is so hard-wired that they just cannot speak the truth. If you are the kinds who 'needs' to know, keep asking again and again till it makes sense to you. Question him, go through the words again, think about it, ask more questions. You have a right to know. If he is remorseful, he will come clean. It might take some weeks to drill sense into his head.

Tred posted 4/25/2013 08:34 AM


I agree with the others - there looks like there is more to the story. My wife started at she was attracted to this one guy and they kissed. I won't go through all the stories in between, but the real truth was she had been dating her AP for 17 months and having regularly scheduled booty calls every two weeks with him. He'd call, she be his "beck and call girl". Sorry, the odds of any of those stories being true are slim. Not saying there isn't a chance, but it would be rare.

easiersaid posted 4/25/2013 09:29 AM

Eyes...sounds like you are getting TT...trickle truth. Little bits of information over time, some true, some not. As people more experienced here will tell you, these lies really destroy a marriage, moreso than the PA or EA.

You can't decide your next steps until you know completely what you are dealing with. Have you read in the Healing Library about a timeline? Might want to ask your WH for one, and expect it might be revised given what he has said so far.

Sorry you are here, but you won't find a nicer group of people. This has been mental-health saving for me over the last 3 months.

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