Story #3: Later that night, he adds to the story that another women also went. Iím confused, why didnít you tell me about her before now? He says, I thought you would be upset with me bringing two women to the conference. Iím still confused, and say ďno, I feel better that there was another person and not just you and her. So I see this as a good sign that she brought someone else along.
Story # 4: He tells me more: The next morning, he says he wants to be completely honest and he confesses that he also pursued the other women who went to the conference. He stated that she is younger, 30 and married. I remember her from the Xmas party. She is very young and attractive (later I find out she is 27 and not married). He told me he started out just talking to her. He enjoyed the attention of a young pretty woman. (Sheís a girl and youíre her boss dumb ass! What is wrong with you?? He is the head of the company and she works for him. I find out later, he promoted her twice within six months.) I canít believe what I am hearing. He proceeds to tell me that he was only talking to her and took her out to events and golf outing and happy hours. There was only one night he was alone with hr He knew she would be coming by our house, so he invited her over when I was out of town. He said, it was awkward and nothing happened and she and he both felt uncomfortable and she stayed for one drink and left. Total 20 min. He says she is a good girl and would not do that. He also thought it was wrong. That did it! GOOD GIRL! Iím sorry, but good girls do not go to their bosses houses when their wives are not home. He denies sleeping with her either at our house or at the conference. He states all other times they were together with other people from work. He says that he liked being seen with her and enjoyed her company but nothing happened. He did not have a PA or did he ever speak about sex or do anything inappropriate. (What?? Asking her to our house is not inappropriate??) He says she and he do not talk anymore and she works at another division of the company now. ( I later suspect she dumped him). I ask why he now gets text messages from the other one. He says, she just started doing this to him. (she was the other ones boss now he is with her? So confused). Wouldn't you gradualy try to do it at our house. [A bold move to make this the first place.
Story #5: I look at the text messages, there is really nothing there. I donít tell him this and pretend I saw bad text messages. I ask is there anything else you want to tell me? He comes clean about women #3. He met #3 at a bar on. He ran into her a year after meeting her and invited her to meet him at a conference that was in a nearby town. He states this woman drove several hours to meet him; they had dinner and drinks, went back to his hotel room and were making out. They were down to their underwear and she gets an epiphany and states, ďI want to go home, you have responsibilities and I donít want to have sex with youĒ. LOL I canít believe she drove two hours and then has dinner and drinks and in the throws of passion stops.
[This message edited by eyesrnowopen at 12:01 AM, April 25th (Thursday)]
DS 16, DDs 18 & 30
Learning to be resilient
I'm so sorry. (((HUGS)))
When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE him.
OC born 2001
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)
Sorry, but my WH did a lot of lying, and cornered him many times with contradictions in the confessions (supposedly truth).
You deserve the truth. Tell him that.
So sorry for you!
It is unlikely that he took these women on trips with him or to meet him in his hotel room and nothing happened.
He figures he gets off easier if he gives you the PG version "see honey, we just met for drinks, she changed her mind."
My response is how is this better, the first one is a good girl and the second didn't want to do it. Isn't is supposed to be him who is the good guy and not want to do it? Either way his story smells bad.
[This message edited by ninebark at 6:16 AM, April 25th (Thursday)]
"I do not know how it happened, but we were naked within 10 minutes." Well, it turns out they had been talking for a few weeks about this meeting and passions were running high. You dont get naked with someone for the first time in 10 minutes without anything prior to that and then proceed to give the POS1 a BJ. .
"Both of us were just naked. We did not have sex." What a load of crap! She was naked twice and also drunk and yea had sex. Look for signs of lying. She told me this line even before I asked whether she had sex with POS1. I knew at that moment that she did.
If I was the boss (does not matter whether I am married or not) I would not have promoted a good-looking girl twice in 6 months unless she was sleeping with me.
A new WS thinks the BS does not have a brain and will buy the stories they dole out and they can continue lying. The lying is so hard-wired that they just cannot speak the truth. If you are the kinds who 'needs' to know, keep asking again and again till it makes sense to you. Question him, go through the words again, think about it, ask more questions. You have a right to know. If he is remorseful, he will come clean. It might take some weeks to drill sense into his head.
Don't know where we are headed..
I agree with the others - there looks like there is more to the story. My wife started at she was attracted to this one guy and they kissed. I won't go through all the stories in between, but the real truth was she had been dating her AP for 17 months and having regularly scheduled booty calls every two weeks with him. He'd call, she be his "beck and call girl". Sorry, the odds of any of those stories being true are slim. Not saying there isn't a chance, but it would be rare.
You can't decide your next steps until you know completely what you are dealing with. Have you read in the Healing Library about a timeline? Might want to ask your WH for one, and expect it might be revised given what he has said so far.
Sorry you are here, but you won't find a nicer group of people. This has been mental-health saving for me over the last 3 months.