I'm a year and a week out. We just got through our "affair season" and all relevant dates with regards to my wife's infidelity.
First I just wanted to say I'm at peace with myself more than anything. I've found solace within my strength of will and a permanence in my continued resilience to life's obstacles. Nothing else has broken me in life and my wife hasn't either. I've definitely been devastated by what she did and still carry on with lingering problems as a result, but in the grand scheme of things I'm happy with myself in life. Couldn't ask for more right now honestly. I plan to continue on my path with healing and will enjoy the fruits of life that I'll reap as a result.
I've spent the past year focused primarily on my self with a secondary focus on seeing if my wife would make the changes necessary to make me feel safe staying with her.
When it comes to her... Well, I absolutely love her. Likely beyond sense. Do I love her more or less? Can't answer. It's not quantifiable for me. I simply love her. She's my everything, always has been, still is, and likely (hopefully) always will be. I don't love her in the same way as I used to though. The innocence of our relationship is gone. There's a very sobering reality to our relationship now. I have to admit my love for her previously was a very codependent immature and unhealthy love. Now, it's a much more real, mature and healthy love. In many ways I like it better this way and am sure time will only strengthen that feeling.
As for trust, that's a tricky subject. On one hand I trust her more than I ever have, because my understanding of trust and what I hold her to is much more realistic and measured with transparency and accountability on her part. On the other, she practically went nuts for no sensible reason and cheated on me. Hard to trust someone after that. There has only been one misstep on her part regarding trust, which was about a month ago. Otherwise she's been phenomenal at rebuilding what she destroyed. But I'm still incredibly leery of her. She understands and we work forward with that understanding. That said my wife had one of the more honest and somewhat in your face affairs I've seen. It's really just... a work in progress. Best way to put it is I trust what I see and my wife makes sure I can see everything.
My wife's remorse and desire to change herself have been tremendous boons in my healing and feeling safe. My own healing likely would be as is without her, but our relationship has survived and in many ways begun to thrive because of her work on herself. She's a drastically improved person in so many ways and she's still awesome to me.
All that said. Despite the improved relationship, my sense of peace, and her betterment, I would say overall I'm sad. This shit is hard. This shit is stressful. This shit kicks the every living hell out of you in a way that at times can feel crippling. And for way too long it felt downright overwhelming. Only in the past couple months have I found myself settling back into a normal life. Which proves to be tricky itself, having been so deeply entrenched in "fixing" things and absorbed by the affair for what seems like a long time. I do find many things to be happy about in life and enjoy plenty of great days and even have a lot of good memories from the past year. Yet, I'm sad. It's improving with time and the continued efforts from both of us but I'm currently generally just sad.
A couple days ago we were sitting outside on a bench enjoying the nice weather while we watched our daughter run around with a stick shooting at alien bees that were invading. It was a very pleasant moment, but I couldn't fully enjoy it. I mentioned this to my wife and she apologized for causing me to feel like this. A consequence of her self destructive decisions. With time I hope this feeling diminishes.
I'm in no rush though. It'll come with time and work.
For us, at a year out life is pretty good but there's still the continued need for work and effort. Which really is how it will always be for us from now on. I see it said by many that year 2 can be worse, but I don't believe that will be the case for me. In a year (or perhaps 2 - though I doubt that) I think I will have recovered from what my wife did to me. By then I hope our relationship will be stronger and more fulfilling, I hope to be happier with myself and life, and I hope she too is happier with herself and continues growing.
All said, I'm hopeful.
I hope my post has helped answer your questions or proved useful, though I feel I've rambled.