Would your H do a Retrouvaille weekend? You don't have to say anything and can keep to yourself for the whole weekend if that is what you choose.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
What he really needs is IC but baby steps here. Maybe if he sees benefits from a low-risk program then he'll move toward IC.
Sorry, that's all I got. He doesn't want anyone to see how messed up he is? AA says self-sufficiency was a lie, the A is proof of that. There's no shame in seeking help, every body has problems! Good luck.
We are in R.
Has he ever done therapy? How does he know it doesn't work? Will you make it a condition of R? Or would you be willing to enter into MC with him first to get his feet wet?
Are you giving him conditions of R? Where are your boundaries?
You can get all the books online at someplace like Amazon, you can get the books and their partner workbooks (highly recommend both). I bought the entire set of ALL of his books and workbooks for around $65 delivered to my door just about 3 years ago or so. The books have titles like "Receiving Love" "Giving Love" and "Getting the Love you Want". I believe he also has some DVD's on his website that will help you through the process, but I don't know about those at all.
And, if you don't want to commit to buying them, you can also pick many of those books up at the library.
Knowing--We went to family counseling for my daughter when she turned into an alien-abducted teenager, and the counseler fired him because he couldn't or wouldn't focus and kept going off on unrelated tangents. So I suspect IC would be a waste unless he's sincere about it but also I know I won't leave him over refusing so why nag? His prognosis makes our situation just a little bit different (I know, everyone says they're different!!).