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Reconciliation :
This Scar on my Heart

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 IGaveItMyAll (original poster member #38622) posted at 6:01 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

I wear this scar on my heart with pride. I am proud of myself for finding the strength within to give this relationship another shot when someone I care for tried to destroy it. I am proud of myself for making some very important personal changes for me. I am proud of myself for finally expressing my opinions without worrying what people will think. I am proud of myself for not avoiding confrontation anymore. I am proud of myself for setting my own boundaries and not being afraid to walk away if they aren't met. I am proud of myself for figuring out what I need to feel love and expressing to my spouse what I need her to do to make me feel it. I am proud that I have the strength to sort through these thought/feeling and get to the core of what is triggering them. I am proud of myself that I am able to comminicate my very dark feling to my W. I am proud of myself that I am working toward a better life. So I wear this scar with pride. It is still senistive to the touch but it will heal. I have learned ALOT about how strong I truly am. What are you proud of?

ME-BS 34
FWW-28
M 6 Yrs
DDAY- 8/20/12
R

posts: 332   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013
id 6311572
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libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 6:25 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

You are so awesome!! I'm so happy for your strength.

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

posts: 972   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2013
id 6311603
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 IGaveItMyAll (original poster member #38622) posted at 6:26 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

libertyrocks - It felt good to write that list. What are you proud of yourself for?

ME-BS 34
FWW-28
M 6 Yrs
DDAY- 8/20/12
R

posts: 332   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013
id 6311604
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BIZZYBEEZ ( member #37645) posted at 8:08 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

Amazing post - just amazing!!!

BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 39
DDay - 10/22/2012 (worst day of my life)

Learning to breathe again - one day at a time

posts: 235   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2012
id 6311757
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AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 8:13 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

Amen Brother!!!!

BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"

posts: 2859   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2012
id 6311764
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Hunter23 ( member #37574) posted at 8:14 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

IGaveItMyAll,

What a great post! I teared up a little... I hope to get to where you are someday soon.

Me: BW, 38
Him:WH, 40
DDay: Nov 3, 2012
Hoping to recover...

posts: 100   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012
id 6311766
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Garnet ( member #39070) posted at 8:33 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

And you should be proud!! You sound like your in a good place !! Keep up the positive outlook

Garnet☀

posts: 84   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2013   ·   location: MA
id 6311792
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 IGaveItMyAll (original poster member #38622) posted at 8:47 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

Everyone here should be proud of themselves. Wear that scar with honor. A good friend of mine told me I am weak for going back. I truly believe it takes a stronger person to stay. All of us are strong even though many days we feel weak. Look how far we all have come from the bottom. All of us are at different stages but, through this journey we will become a stronger person. A person that faced the most painful thing ever and didn't let it define us.

ME-BS 34
FWW-28
M 6 Yrs
DDAY- 8/20/12
R

posts: 332   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013
id 6311809
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PippaPeach6 ( member #37523) posted at 8:51 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

Wow! Powerful post. Thank you for sharing this! You should be proud - you are a very strong person.

Us: 50ish, madhatters, married 20 odd yrs
TT: May 2009 'til June
DDay for both: June 17, 2009
Me: 2x, same person, 1991
Him: 1.5 year PA (EA?) 2007-2009
Reconciled

Honey Badger don't care. - Randall

posts: 386   ·   registered: Nov. 16th, 2012   ·   location: Flyover chic
id 6311817
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lotusflower12 ( new member #37779) posted at 2:47 AM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

Amazing. Thank you for writing it down. I do feel stronger and more alive than ever. It came with a price, but I sometimes wonder if this is what it feels like coming back from war. Beaten down emotionally, yet proud of the work you did. I don't know. Your post has made my mind turn into a positive direction, which is nice for a change. It's too easy to swim in the s#*% if you know what I mean.

Thoughts are with all of you, my fellow warriors.

ME-BS 30s
HIM-WS 30s
1 child
Dday- 10/23/2012 : 2 month EA and PA (sex twice)
In R

posts: 14   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2012
id 6312281
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Caligirl9566 ( new member #38694) posted at 4:58 AM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

WOW... What a wonderful and powerful post. I feel better after reading your post. I to will be there one day.

I'm proud of myself for staying and trying to keep my family together.

Cali

Me/BS 46
Him/WH 51
Married 17yrs
DD 2/12/2013
R but I just don't know

posts: 29   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Florida
id 6312430
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 IGaveItMyAll (original poster member #38622) posted at 5:14 AM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

I'm proud of myself for staying and trying to keep my family together.

that's an AMAZING thing to be proud of. I look at my kids as well and am proud for sticking it out. Seeing them such a wreck when we were separated was heart breaking. You should be proud not only are you giving your WS another chance you are giving your kids another chance at having a family together (obviously that's not the only reason to stay but very rewarding)

ME-BS 34
FWW-28
M 6 Yrs
DDAY- 8/20/12
R

posts: 332   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013
id 6312451
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bitterbetrayal ( member #26326) posted at 1:01 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

A beautiful post thank you.

Me. BS 52 at the time
Him.WS 52 at the time and a priest!
D-DAY 12/07/09.
Married 25 years at the time.
Two children 20 and 22 at the time.

posts: 246   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2009   ·   location: UK
id 6312708
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