You miss the false image of him that he projected for you. That was just a fake, though. It was not real. Yes, you miss it, but it was an illusion.
Go ahead & feel your grief. You're grief is real because you are real. Please don't contact him in any way, though. If you do you'll just set yourself back in healing, or worse, you'll take him back and then we'll be reading your posts a few months ago about how you're pregnant.
I know I keep mentioning "pregnant", but that's because I know what it's like to have children with a personality disordered sex addict. I don't want that for you. I want you to have a good life. So stay strong, stuggle here, but don't let that sick freak back into your life.