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pizzalover (original poster member #38336) posted at 8:43 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013
I need help with this:
How do I have a mental NC with my AP and APBS when every day I'm talking about the two of them and the A with my BH? How have you been able to do it?
Trying to rebuild each day
Me - WW 41
Him - BH 41 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats
Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 9:22 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013
There is a difference between answering your BS's questions about the A and daydreaming, "Dang, AP had the cutest feet. We had the best time chilling at the buffet back on May 3rd. I wonder if he thinks about me like I do about him...?"
Answer your BSs questions. Examine your thought processes that led you to the A. Leave the fluffy crap at the door.
Make sense?
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
UnexpectedSong ( member #21761) posted at 11:56 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013
You can talk about the A and AP without savoring or fantasizing. You can tell your H about "your" songs without you thinking about that song on your drive to work. It's okay to talk about it, just don't reminisce.
WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 2:25 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013
Are you reminiscing? Do you have moments where those "feeling" come up?
Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 2:43 AM on Saturday, April 27th, 2013
You've gotten the perfect definition of mental NC. It's when you don't get the "warm & fuzzies" when you think or talk about the AP. You answer your BHs questions and talk about the A because that's what he needs right now. You don't reminisce about about all the "good times" you had. Because you know now that they were just part of the fantasy you built.
BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51
All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.
pizzalover (original poster member #38336) posted at 3:18 AM on Saturday, April 27th, 2013
Thanks everyone for your input. It helps a lot! 
[This message edited by pizzalover at 9:18 PM, April 26th (Friday)]
Trying to rebuild each day
Me - WW 41
Him - BH 41 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats
Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09
This Topic is Archived
