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Newest Member: Hurtagain57 (61546)

User Topic: Simply disguisted and done
♀ 39089
Member # 39089
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been involved in an off/on relationshop with a man for the last 6 years. This man exhibits signs of a serious mental illness or personality disorder. If I ever doubted this, last night wiped out any inkling of doubt I ever had since it was the most bizarre, surreal experience thus far. Which says a lot considering he's done some super whack stuff before.

Anways back to what happened last night. It was a typical Weds nothing out of the ordinary or so I thought. I get a text from my bf to say that he won't be there when I get there cuz he has to to do something at 4:30 - exactly the time I get off of work. That seemed a little off that he couldn't have done it before that, but didn't think too much about it and went on my way. I get home first and he arrives later at around 6. I could already tell when he walked in he was in a bad mood so I tried to be upbeat and cheerful. Then he accusing says to me, "Why is there blood on the sheets?" I didn't freak right away because I imagined that it was just a little smear of blood from maybe a scratch you didn't realize you had or maybe from picking off a scab or something to that effect. I know it wasn't my period since I'm not on it right plus I just washed the sheets on Sunday. I proceed to the bed to take a look and I'm surprised by the amount of blood, it was actually a fair amount blood. So I immediately ask if he had hurt himself to which he got really angry. Then I start freaking out going WTF WTF is that, why is there blood that's not mine on the bed??? Then I'm just trying to think of a logical reason, but nothing comes to mind except that he must've brought someone into my home and had sex with her and she bled on my bed. Although I've bled from sex before myself, but I never had that much blood EVER. It wasn't covering the entire bed or anything but it was kind of a big spot that soaked through several layers of the bed sheets and even to the mattress a little. I mean it looked someone had sex on their period! So as I'm trying to figure out, I'm even afraid to ask if it's him because he has become violent before. As I'm freaking and realizing the it had to be him to do it cuz it sure as hell wasn't me, he's just nonchalant about there being blood on the bed and proceeds to take a shower. When he comes out I'm taking the sheets off cuz all I could think about was taking it off my bed and washing them. So I'm doing that as he gets out of the shower and I'm still muttering to myself WTF WTF WTF. Because part of me is asking myself, could he really do this? Bring another girl over have sex with her then just leave the blood on the sheets and blame me for it? And ultimately I do think he is capable of this. He's done other things that I never thought he would, but he did them so what's different now...he certainly hasn't changed. Well when he gets out from the shower, he gets upset that I'm standing there trying to figure this out. He then says why are you acting like you don't know how the blood got there, when it had to be you cuz it wasn't me. Of course I start to defend myself and say it wasn't me b/c it wasn't me and he starts to get more & more enraged. Then once I've fully got sucked into this argument of it being me that did it, it turns into why am I not more concerned about where the blood was than about saying it wasn't me. So then I say that because I really think you did it, but don't want to believe it so I keep trying to come up with a rational, logical explanation. He then threatened to bash my face in so I left and texted him to get out of my house...which to him only proved my guilt. I went to buy new locks...I had never wanted to be so far away from this person in my life. The disguist I felt as he sat there, threatening to beat me when he brought another woman into MY HOME. Wow, unbelievable. I still am so angry and disguisted. I even grabbed my dead father's picture and swore on him that it wasn't me, but it convinced him even more that it had to be cuz according to him I was THAT desperate to use my dad since I was guilty. The more I looked at the sheets later, the more the blood didn't look like from sex so my next thought is he brought someone here and got violent with them in my home. Because it kind of looked the amount of blood from a bloody nose. Of course he could never tell me these things and he probably didn't have time to clean the sheets so he thought he'd just blame it on me.

You know I'm not even devastated that he did this. I mean I'm not an idiot, I know it wasn't me so it had to be him. He is taking the same stance, but I'm not the one who has a history of being deceptive and doing similiar things. It's HIM that does for sure though. I'm really finally seeing him for the sick indvidual that he is. And although this was the ultimate disrespect, he did the ultimate disservice to himself. He has to live with his choice, I sure as hell don't. And if that's the kind of woman he chooses to cheat with, the kind who will enter another woman's home and maybe sleep with him on her bed, they deserve each other. I just don't know what else to say except that I'm so disguisted, disguisted, disguisted. I let this person into my home (for free) and basically provide for him, but this is how he bring antoher woman into my home. And now he doesn't want to face the music, so he'll take me down instead. But, he's wrong, I'm going nowhere but up and away from this BS. NO MORE!!! He will never get to disrespect me again in any way!!!!

Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 39089
Member # 39089
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

B/c I still feel so crazy from last night that I would like some feedback from others as to your view - It had to have been him, right? And it is super bizarre, right? Guess I need validation more than anything.

Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 16394
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The man is violent, he threatens to beat you, and he knows where the blood came from but blames you. What are you doing with this man? Get him out of your life, like last week.

You deserve so much better than this. You know the blood wasn't from you, so the only reasonable explanation is him. He blame-shifted, threatened, lied, made sure you were home first so he could blame you. Well, he certain, isn't remorseful.

IF you fear his anger, and violence, the answer is to kick him out, change your locks and look forward to a normal life. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but he is crazy and you don't need this in your life.

BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time." Bionical girl

Posts: 3163 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
♀ 39089
Member # 39089
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are absolutely right and I appreciate your bluntness. It's what I need to hear right now. I did kick him out and I bought new locks last night...waiting for locksmith today!

Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 33581
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blood or no blood. Cheating or no cheating. As soon as he threatened you with physical harm he is done.

Fuck. That. Guy. Get him out and don't ever look back. Change your phone number or block his. Block his email. Get a RO. Whatever it takes but do not ever engage with this "thing" (I can't bring myself to call him a man) again.

You deserve so much better!!!


If you feel yourself start to waver on your resolve to be rid of him, come HERE! Re-read your post. Post again. We will help you.

Keep safe. He sounds like a lunatic.

If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1968 | Registered: Oct 2011
♀ 38464
Member # 38464
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stay vigilant! I have dated a violent mentally ill person (didn't know it at the time) get some mace! Keep yourself protected! Let people who are close to you know that you may be in danger, to help protect you.

Posts: 121 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: oregon
♀ 39089
Member # 39089
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@CheaterMagnet - Yes, I think that's why I'm not so devasted by the actual blood or the cheating b/c I am FINALLY seeing that his VIOLENCE is what I need to focus on. And yes, he doesn't deserve to be called a man. I like thing, I will start using thing. Thank you for your words!

Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 39089
Member # 39089
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Jeyana - yes, my friend suggested I get some of that too. Actually she thinks I should get a tazer or stun gun as well. I know I need to protect myself. Thank you.

Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 39089
Member # 39089
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read my entry at least 10x over and I can't help but wonder what the fuck happened to my life? How did I get here to this point, to this situation. It feels surreal even reading what happened, but yet I lived through it. Time to climb out of this rabbit hole because I know this is not the life I was meant to live and I must change it. I will change it.

Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 35178
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Reading that was just insane. He is seriously demented. I am glad in a way that it happened though as it seemed to have given you the strengh to get rid of him. What a filthy, disgusting person. I don't know much of your back story as I couldn't find the posts but blimey, the man is sick in the head.

I hope you stay angry and get him out of your house.

Posts: 342 | Registered: Mar 2012
♀ 14918
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PLEASE don't wash those sheets! What if he hurt or KILLED someone in your house? Call the cops and get a restraining order and SHOW THEM THE SHEETS!

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1608 | Registered: Jun 2007
♂ 25393
Member # 25393
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's more here than an A. Take the sheets to the police. If you do anything but that and this turns bad, you could be looked at as an accomplice or of obstructing justice.

Take the sheets to the police and tell them what happened. Don't delay.

[This message edited by Twitchy at 7:00 PM, April 25th (Thursday)]

BH(me)-49, FWW-43,
D-Day #1 - Oct 2007 - On-Line EA leading to a failed rendez-vous
D-Day #2 - Nov 2008 - In person EA caught early.

Away you will go, sailing in a race among the ruins.
If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon. Gordon Lightfoot

Posts: 733 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Ontario - Canada
♂ 25393
Member # 25393
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double post.

[This message edited by Twitchy at 6:59 PM, April 25th (Thursday)]

BH(me)-49, FWW-43,
D-Day #1 - Oct 2007 - On-Line EA leading to a failed rendez-vous
D-Day #2 - Nov 2008 - In person EA caught early.

Away you will go, sailing in a race among the ruins.
If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon. Gordon Lightfoot

Posts: 733 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Ontario - Canada
♀ 32109
Member # 32109
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


How bizarre and scary and sad (for you)!

If you haven't already washed the sheets and scrubbed the mattress - DON'T.

I agree with other posters - you should call the police. Even if they cannot get evidence from the sheets (already washed), they will have it on record should anyone report an assault/battery.

Also, YOU should report his threat (assault) and look into a restraining order. This is just too far out of the bounds of normal.

Even if the court won't grant you an order now - you will have the complaint on record should he continue to threaten or stalk you.

HUGS! Please keep posting and let us know you are safe.

(I know people have to live these lives we share and read and cannot always update when in the thick of things - but, PLEASE at least pop in to simply say, "I'm safe.")


Good catch on MomentinTime's part - Him making sure you arrived home FIRST. That did not even occur to me!

How devious and calculating!!
OMG! Even more worried for you now.

Do you have any family nearby you could stay with or have stay with you for a few days???


[This message edited by 5yrsout at 7:12 PM, April 25th (Thursday)]

Now 10yrs Out - my prince is a frog
DD 5/15/2006

Posts: 784 | Registered: May 2011
♀ 39089
Member # 39089
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the replies and concerns. I am safe...exhausted, drained, but safe. It has been a strange 48 hrs to say the LEAST. An even more bizarre turn of events has happened...I received an email from him confessing to everything. So he indeed brought a woman to my house, had sex, apparently she started her period and didn't notice till they were done. WTF...Wow!!! He knew he fucked up big time in that moment so he panicked. Claims he can't explain he did what he did nor he feels apology wouldn't even cut it at this point. Basically all this BS excuses with no accepting of what he really did. At this point, I'm more relieved that it was sex and not something else even though it disgusts me to no end which prompted me to cut off all communication immediately. I just can't deal with this crazy shit anymore. I'm so done. I've changed my numbers, blocked his, even emails and yes I changed the locks too. I just don't want to go to the police b/c I live in a small town and a family member is a cop and I just cannot have my family find out about this. They would be devastated. However, I am going to get something like mace tomorrow for sure. Just wanted to fill everyone in....I'm exhausted and just need to lie down!!! This just really was the nail that slammed the coffin shut forever!!! That's just some crazy, very sociopathic thing to do. NO fucking thank you!

Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad that you're OK, physically anyway. Please use the fact that you DO have a cop family member to your advantage when you NC him.

And listen. Please re-consider telling your family, especially if he makes any tries to contact. They will probably be so relieved that you separated from this asshole that they will be there for you. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10075 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 32984
Member # 32984
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im really worried about you. Ending relationships with people like this can continue to be dangerous.

Like other said, no matter how embarrassing it may be, please do let your family know, especially the one in law enforcement! If anything happens, they need to know... There needs to be a record of his abuse and threats. I know this is worst case scenario, but you must be prepared. Please keep yourself safe from him.

married more than 10 yrs to a possible SA
D-Day May 5 2011
"Because one knows people best through their fears - the ones they overcome and the ones they are overcome by."

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Aug 2011
Dark Inertia
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, he sounds like a total sociopath. That is pretty sick.

Posts: 1842 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Topic Posts: 18

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